posted 11-27-2006 09:04 AM         

I have been married twice since then, I am not a bar-hopper, but my son says my looks are a curse sometimes.

I attended a Christian college, and have a bachelor's (music education/Spanish/Theology) I have always had a heart for missions, and have been prey for predators/con men. God has blessed me with so many talents and potential, and the last time I felt it was God's leading to leave my hometown and work a business with one of my oldest, dearest friends, I still wound up back here. I am discovering one by one that my closest friends are false and very sick individuals. What does that say about me?

I had several people over the years to tell me to read the story of Joseph in the Old Testament, and put myself in his place. So far, I'm in Pharoah's jail--still, and still wrongly accused and treated with suspicion by those who can't believe I'm for real, and taken down from heights that were simply the result of me doing what I do--use my talents.

My 3rd husband claimed to be a Christian, but I see now it was all to get me to be his wife--he was able to successfully hide a problem with cocaine for some time, and then came clean and actually went to NA meetings for a while. We married in January, separated in March, and tried for a reconciliation a couple of times, each time him promising me he'd not take off again. But then one night he disappeared--again--right before Thanksgiving this year, and I knew it was the end.

This is not a "woe is me." I see my faults loud and clear. I simply need prayer and direction, as the current attempt at free-lancing as a classical artist/music teacher/bilingual interpreter (I speak Spanish but I'm blonde-hair blue-eyed) is not doing much.

I need to hear from God--I need prayer so I can hear what to do next. So many variables I can't even mention here. My kids need better than this, and so do I.

Please pray. I am 44 years old, and still the breakthrough to stability has not come.

posted 11-28-2006 08:12 PM         

You have let me sink down deep in desperate problems. But you will bring me back to life again , up from the depths of the earth . You will give me greater honor than before and turn again and comfort me . Psalms 71 20:21

posted 11-29-2006 08:10 AM         

I believe God wants to bless His people through my singing voice. Please pray that I am out of the "prison" soon, with direction from God only.