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| Author | Topic: If its not one thing its another!!! |
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Marisela Member |
posted 12-17-2005 10:02 PM
  
I'm a 25 year old christian mother of two beautiful boys ages 6 and 3. Their father was at one time a very good man to me and the boys. Drugs got him off the straight and narrow path and sitting behind a jail cell for a very long time now. Now I have a new life as a single mother. Trying to coupe with my painful memories of the past. I never had any kind of abuse in my life, as a child or in my relationship until the drugs took over my husband life. Thats when the physical and verbal abuse began towards me and my children. I'm not a dumb woman so it didnt take much before I was out the door with my kids, fearing for our safety.. but the whole time I was dying inside, saying this is not him! To me the physical and verbal abuse was enough, but on top of it all. My soon to be ex-husband and father of my children no longer wanted my kids around him. To busy doing drugs. Wouldn't come see the boys, wouldn't watch them. steals from them and me if we do see him. Wouldn't take our calls. Moved in with another woman. I was crushed to see what he was doing to himself and our family. I then had to start explaining to my children daddy was sick! That did not stop their questions and wanting to see their dad. It killed me when they cried for him. I have always been the provider making more money then him but now my team is gone! My place of employment is not to understanding of the un exspected and sudden change of my work schedule. My boss recentily has pulled me aside stating I have to realize my job has to be done, with or without me. He states my personal issues is effecting the work flow in my office and that I need to deside if this position will fit my new lifestyle. He added everyone loves me and wants me to stay but I have to be there everyday on a set schedule. What to do because I love my job??? I have alot of knowlege of what I do. It keeps me busy and I've gotten so far and worked so hard, making a good name for myself there. Now my family thinks my kids come second to my job because I have been trying hard to stay on my work schedule. I have been there 5 years. Does anyone understand I will swallow my pride and take my bosses down talk and try harder for my kids. This is not easy I lost my apartment and car because I could not afford them any longer. Most of everything I owned of value was pawned by my ex. He even was trading my boys clothes and shoes for drugs. Turning to my parents for help, they took me and my boys in. Now I feel like my children and myself are causing my parents stress. My mom lets me drive her car leaving her car less. Not much to give her after paying moms car payment, babysitter daily needes and trying to pay bills and restore damage credit. Its not hard to find someone to spend time with me like a date or friend but I feel like everyone looks at me like a bad mom because every single moment of free should be spent with my boys alone!! I am looked at as a failer because of my husbands bad decisions. My sister catches me crying at times because I miss my old life with my husband and kids and I get the look of your stupid missing that drugie!! I can not show any signs of weakness, because my family has a mean streak and makes comments how they have to help raise my kids so dont be crying or others have it worst then you get over it!!! This all started on March 25th of this year and it seems like one thing after another. Kids sick, car accident. My youngest son got lost at park during family gathering-got yelled at like I tried to lose my son. Older son is not behaving in school. They always get into everything and I can not sit for a minute before I have to get up for some reason...Its taken me forever to type this down. Could you pray for me to pull my little family together? |
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