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 Birthday Gifts for Kids' Friends
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| Author | Topic: Birthday Gifts for Kids' Friends |
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jwg Member |
posted 08-24-2008 10:08 AM
  
How much is an appropriate amount to give to your child's friends for a birthday gift? Last year I stopped trying to buy an actual gift because the boys are at the age where they are into electronic media that is way beyond my budget to buy. I started giving a $20 bill which I felt was plenty for 11 and 12 year olds if they pooled all their cash gifts to buy something in particular .... until last night that is. My son's friend was visibly insulted by the small amount and other children were giving $50 bills. I can't afford to do that. In the last 2 weeks alone I have shelled out $100 on birthdays. Only one of those children will put his money to good use. The others will squander it at 7-11. Maybe I have the wrong point of view and am just really cheap. I felt so bad for my son last night but I am completely on my own with him. With the exception of the one child I just mentioned, all of his friends live in significantly high dual income homes and I can't keep up with them in any way, shape or form. Am I just being cheap? How much should I be giving? Juanita [This message has been edited by jwg (edited 08-24-2008).] |
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shawn single dad |
posted 08-25-2008 10:11 PM
wow $50 a pop! where do I sign up my kids?! how many are invited? that is one sweet take... seriously though, don't go there with any amount of cash. my rule of thumb would be a gift less than $20, some simple cheesy little gift that my child chooses. |
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jwg Member |
posted 08-29-2008 08:16 PM
Thanks for the reassurance Shawn. I used to have a gift cap of $15 but increased it to $20 a couple of years ago. Personally, I think these kids have way too much handed to them on a silver platter and don't appreciate the spirit in which gifts are given. My son and I have discussed his friend's reaction a couple of times (at his instigation) and he is quite hurt that his friend is now buddying up to the kids that gave him gifts of greater value. My son is a very pragmatic child and well aware of our limited financial resources. He has often said to me that we may not have lots of money, a big fancy house and all the new cool things but we have lots more love than they do. My heart melts every time he says that  Unfortunately, he has had to learn the hard way that the child he befriended and stood up for when their classmates were being unkind and excluding this child from activities, is very superficial and thinks that friendship is demonstrated by a dollar amount. I should not be surprised by this belief since his parents buy him something newer, bigger and better every time his path in life is not perfectly smooth.I suppose this is all part of life's lessons in growing up (for both child and parent). I know my son is right when he says we have lots more love in our house. |
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shawn single dad |
posted 08-30-2008 08:47 PM
Juanita, you're a great mom and are giving your son a very valuable lesson. We both know he (and you) are way better off than these other brats. I actually feel sorry for them, and maybe you and you son do too. Again, this is a real life lesson that will be with him forever. peace and love |
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Bluebird Member |
posted 08-31-2008 10:10 PM
$50 is a lot! It says a lot about our society that any parent would even consider giving that much to a kid in a birthday card unless they were a relative. It seems so greedy and excessive to me and I think it just makes kids more materialistic. I think this is about so much more than money. This is a great opportunity for you to talk to your son about the bad manners that kid displayed. I always taught my daughter that any gift was to be appreciated and that any expressions other than surprise and delight were extremely rude. I kind of feel sorry for the kid who doesn't know any better than to respond with obvious disappointment like that. He clearly hasn't been taught any manners. $20 is plenty in all circles I've been in and my daughter has been to birthday parties of people with and people without money. "It's the thought that counts" is what your son should walk away from this saying to himself. And, I love how your son realizes that you have more love in your home than most. That has been our reality for many years...usually the brokest, but always among the richest in love [This message has been edited by Bluebird (edited 08-31-2008).] |
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lexiesmom Member |
posted 09-09-2008 05:38 PM
$50 is ridiculous! Lexie is turning 16 tomorrow and her grnadparents gave her $50. Kids are supposed to pick out gifts and it is supposed to be fun it's not a wedding where people are thinking about helping with house downpayment or a graduation where they are thinking about helping with college! I would just say that birthday gifts are limited to $20, depending on the friendship I might even go $15. As parents I don't see what they are teaching children aside from how to be mindless consumers who buy buy buy adn dont give back to the community or the planet. Alex already told her friends gifts aren't needed for her party this weekend and all the kids at church are honoring the kids with birthdays this month by spending a Saturday morning doing volunteer work in honor of them, no money and benifits someone else. The gift or whatever they buy with the money will be lost, broken or forgotten about in the next 3 months. [This message has been edited by lexiesmom (edited 09-09-2008).] |
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jwg Member |
posted 09-10-2008 06:55 AM
I am so relieved to hear that you are all on the same page as I am when it comes to gifts and attitudes toward receiving gifts. I do feel sorry for these kids in that they will be in for a rude awakening when they reach adulthood and have to become independent. On the other hand, it does explain why so many people I know have adult children living at home indefinitely at their parents' expense. I take comfort in knowing that Emerson knows how to manage money and understands the concept of living within certain means. When his time comes, he will be able to handle the real world. He already earns his own money with a paper route and reffing soccer, has a bank account for which he loves to go on-line to check the balance Erika, I think the donation of time by Lexie and her friends in honour of each other's birthday is a fantastic idea! Hmmm, I wonder if I would be able get that trend started here? |
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JAYJAY Member |
posted 09-11-2008 01:33 PM
Hi, long time no talk..lol. Please please dont think you are being cheap. You are a warm and kind person, so dont let some snot nose child make you feel bad. A nice child would be thankful for any gift Just give what you can and not worry.. Sending our love to you both. Talk soon.. your friend Jacqueline. x-x- |
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jwg Member |
posted 09-11-2008 08:12 PM
Hey, you're still around!! I have been wondering if you had run off with some handsome, rich man and forgotten all of us. |
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JAYJAY Member |
posted 09-16-2008 05:25 AM
HEY honey.. how could i ever forget you..lol. Been working flat out and all probs with family health, as you know.. Great to be back. Talk soon. love Jacqueline -x-x- |
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and saves up to buy good quality, long term purchases like a BMX bike, a cool helmet, and most recently an XBOX 360. He was more than a little irritated when his friend's parents went out and bought the exact same bike for his friend immediately after they found out Emerson had his.