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 collecting for gifts.
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| Author | Topic: collecting for gifts. |
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cgracec Member |
posted 10-14-2005 10:15 PM
  
Next week is Boss's Day and my boss's admin sent an email out asking for contributions towards flowers and a card. She also suggested that we all go out for lunch and each pay for our own lunch but each of us can contribute to pay for my boss's lunch. Later another girl sent an email out saying to give the contributions to her as she would be picking up the flowers/gift. There was no amount specified but since there are 11 of us this sounded like a reasonable plan and I was happy to participate. A friend of mine started working with me a few months ago and, while she means well, she tends to just take over arrangements and upset people. This was no exception. She took it on herself to send out an email (without discussing it with anyone) saying that we all need to contribute $10 each by end of today because she asked around to find out where our boss gets her hair cut and we are getting her a gift certificate to her favorite salon. So....a couple of people stopped by my desk because the emails were confusing and a $110 gift certificate for a hair trim not including the lunch next week seemed a little much. I talked with her admin who is supposed to be initiating this. She is a very quiet and reserved person and was agitated about paying $10 towards the gift, which would leave her buying the card and cake out of her own money plus contribute for lunch when her own budget is so tight. She said she didn't know how to respond and that she was afraid of offending anyone. The lunch had been prearranged so there was no graceful way to tell our boss we are cancelling it. I told her that I will say something because I can't afford that much money right now either. My response was a reply to her email. I tried to be dipolmatic but direct and asked for clarification since I was under the impression that arrangements had already been made and were being coordinated by someone else. Who do I give the money to, are we also doing lunch next week, and is part of the money going towards the card, and the cake? I also mentioned that I don't mind contributing but $10 is not in my budget today, but I will be happy to contribute whatever I can. My friend came into my office and said she decided to cancel the lunch reservation because she knows our boss is busy next week. Since she isn't the one coordinating things she isn't collecting the money, the girl who agreed to pick up the flowers is collecting the funds and is buying a gift instead. I asked whose idea the salon certificate was. She said that the other girl asked for suggestions so she took it on herself to ask around then sent the email out on her own. I said lunch had already been prearranged with our boss for the day after Boss's Day to prevent a disruption to her schedule. My friend was unhappy and just said that she doesn't like the original arrangements and she knows that our boss is busy so why bother her with lunch? I told her the original arrangements had already been made, everyone else likes them, and it doesn't sound like she discussed the changes with anyone so there is a lot of confusion, not to mention that right now my money is tight. Since I don't consider this to be a big occasion I don't understand why lunch and a small gift or flowers won't suffice? She said "whatever, but lunch won't be convenient and just walked off. When I was leaving I stopped by to say goodbye and I she wished me a nice weekend but I could tell she is upset. I asked a few of the other officers what they are doing for their boss and the maximum they are putting out is $8 each with less people to get a card, cake, and a small giftcerticate. I feel like my friend's attitude is unreasonable. I am not the only one who feels this way but I will only speak for myself. I am wondering if she is just upset because I am not going along with her plans or if she is upset because I responded to her email instead of talking with her fact to face? Was the response to her email inappropriate? |
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lexiesmom Member |
posted 10-14-2005 10:55 PM
ok no offense to your friend but she needs to grow up. Your bosses admin should be the one to handle it. SHe asked for ideas she should have taken the ideas, chosen a few looked at costs and sent out an email to involved parties with a breakdown of what needs to be donated for each untop of lunch and let everyone take a vote. After the vote she should have sent out an email and let everyone know she would be collecting the stated amount and when she would need to collect it. To make lunch easier, she should also ask everyone to precontribute for lunch. Uunder the understanding that each party will not go over the amount they have paid to the party, and if they do they will need to give her the money immediatly sometime during lunch so she doesnt have to come up with the extra money. That way the waiter/ress isnt having to split the bill ten ways. After years in an office situation there is no need for the gift to be over $80 leaving the total under $8 per person. I know that in the future I would not want my employees spending that much of thier hard earned money on me, simply by doing a good job and having a nice enjoyable lunch out with my girls would be enough. Good luck |
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cgracec Member |
posted 10-15-2005 02:33 PM
I just found the whole situation childish and annoying. People usually look to me to help solve this nonsense anyway and since she is my friend I seem to be the sounding board for this one. The only reason I said anything at all is because it had a direct impact on me and even then I made a point of only speaking for myself. Sometimes she does things and it takes all of my willpower to keep my mouth shut because I know she is wrong or is going to piss someone off but I am her friend, not her mom, so I will say what I have to say..gently..and just keep my mouth shut. She really is a very smart and kind person but she tends to act before she thinks things through. What is done is done and I will call her this weekend and apologize for not talking to her face to face then tell her that I am only going to contribute to the lunch and cake and buy a card on my own. From what I overheard as I left the office, I don't think she is going to get very much support for her idea anyway. |
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cgracec Member |
posted 10-15-2005 02:37 PM
lexiesmom. I agree on the lunch issue. What the admin was going to do is have a group meal split between the employees that attended the lunch, but our boss wouldn't be included in the split. Sort of buffet style, and we would present a cake and flowers at the end. Nothing is worse than agreeing to split a bill 10 ways and have someone who orders a salad get stuck paying part of someone else's steak dinner not to mention the stress on the waitress/waiter. I really hate these office things and Xmas is coming up which means there is more to come. |
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Bluebird Member |
posted 10-15-2005 03:06 PM
Ughhh. What a hassle! I think your friend went a little overboard demanding $10 from each person by the end of the day-- without any prior discussion or arrangements. She should realize that her co-workers might not like the plan... and she should also realize that that is nothing personal. I think the salon gift idea was extravagant--especially with the holidays coming up. I mean, this is Boss's Day-- how do you top that for Christmas?-- more $$ from everyone? Send the boss on a spa vacation?? It seems to me that something very simple-- lunch with everyone, maybe a card, bigger maybe on a cake, etc-- would be a nice acknowledgment of the day. These theme days were designed to get consumers into stores! I don't mean to sound like a party-pooper, but this can get expensive and, as we can see here, politically sticky. I say keep these things simple and inexpensive. |
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