posted 10-19-2006 12:37 AM            

I am a 26yr old single father, 100% Total custody of my 7 year old daughter (have been for 6 years)...
living in York, PA

No child support order, nothing. Did it on my own.

I was with a girl(yes girl..no offense but her immaturity has truly shown, shes 22) for 4 1/2 years.

We had a child togethor..she is now 3.

Flash forward. My oldest mother and I worked out differences, and she grewup...So i have allowed her to be involved with the 7 year olds life, on the agreement that a support order would be drawn.

37$ a week. Insurance a non issue...stated by Dom. Rel.

Her lifestyle (shes married), budget..etc all played factors into the payment.

Flashforward again.

My current ex (the mother of my youngest, 3 yr old)..and I break up. i couldn't take the lack of romance, or anything, so i asked her to leave. ( we have a house togethor...etc etc. she has family in the area, i dont...she destroyed the house in front of my oldest...has withheld our daughter from her sister, me. etc etc etc)
I offered to help out, trying to be civil for the kids...(my oldest thought of her, and called her "mommy")
She denied any offer "we dont need your effing money, leave us alone...Im with someone else....etc etc etc"

She files for support.

So today we go for the support conference.
Remind you,I have full custody of my oldest to take care of, retain a functional life. Stability.

They payed no mind to that fact whatsoever.

I make 40,000. by the time i am done with insurance and taxes...its 33,500~
she makes 12-13$ an hour. (not doing math now.)

She has state funded wic, med+, and subsidized daycare.

I make to much for any help.

800$ freaking dollars a month, i have to pay her now.

that leaves just over 1100$ dollars a month.
housing, food, daycare, uniforms...transportation.
I am so screwed...

She has put me in a position...that i can't afford to take care of my daughter (my oldest)....

I dont know what to do..

I am at a complete loss...as to how they can just look at two numbers and guess what should be paid.

I got a call from her thanking me for giving her the ability to buy a new car...
while i am stuck figuring out...where to move..(crack district).

and trying to figure how to pay for daycare.

i have enough now a month to pay for the mortgate, electric, and groceries.

thats it. and thats cutting it slim.

while she gets to retain her state funded gifts.

i feel stuck into prioritizing my children.
what if i have to sign one over... i can't afford to be a parent.

Dom Rel... said "well, you really aren't going to get much more from (7 yr olds) mother..."..

wtf do i do...
i have a responsibility to my oldesnt (and yes my youngest...) but she has family, she has her mother.

my oldesnt and i are stuck...and i can't do it.

where is my help? how can they say "well we want to benefit the child"...and hurt another child in the process.

I have dedicated myself to being a good parent...and they are putting in a position where i can't take care of MY child(100% TOTAL Custody).

I don't know what to do....

I can offer details into the situation...I just don't know.

Im freaking out.

posted 10-19-2006 12:42 AM            

why when i went...insurance was a civil matter...

but now I can be court ordered?

I am seeing a HUGE biase in the way PA child support works.

and sadly...I am a Mr. Mom.

and its not my life...its that i am a 100% responsible, in my care 24/7...

this is going to ruin her life.

I tried to keep it civil...and be responsible...and got my arse handed to me on a silver platter.