posted 10-10-2006 09:55 PM         

My son is 13 years old, I finally established paternity on child's father, due to the fact that O.T. at my employment is slim to none anymore, child deserves the right to have father's name on birth cert. and father leads rough life style and child would be entitled to S.S. in the event of his demise. I have done it all on my own for 13 years with no help from father. STUPID ME!

Of Course, when he gets served with papers, he denies, figuring he has to pay for last 13 years. Never told child but I suspect he knows, after we go for testing.

I say 13 years because father never helped me when we were together for 3 years after child was born.

Advice need on (so that I don't make this longer):

1. Go before PA/Referee, I am told that father owes medical/child support from day of established paternity. Which would have been January 2006. I bring up the fact, saved reciepts, that major dental/optical expenses occured. PA/referee tells son's father he owes me 35% of those bills and any future bills.

2. Order was not signed until April 2006. Father played games with PA/referee with regards to his lawyer not being able to attend first hearing. Of course, when original hearing date was delayed, I called and expressed my concern and anger with this being changed. PA/Referee stated to me that he knows father's lawyer, was an apprentice for him and he was sure there was no games being played because he knows him very well. Well, I know the father even better. When it was finally convient for daddy to show up for hearing, PA/Referee asked where lawyer was, father told him "Oh, he's on a case and will be coming back and forth from the court house to check-up on me." Yeah Right! Liar! Then stupid father contradicted himself by telling PA/Referee that he was out of town on the other dates looking for work. I guess there is no problem with getting a lawyer to lie for you or make a simple phone call to delay hearings.

3. PA/Referee does not tell me that I have to incur/pay for $290.00 worth of "reasonable" medical care, I find this all out after the fact, once I contact friend of the court with apx. $400.00 worth of receipts, after contacting/mailing father copies.

4. Very nasty clerk tells me that anything prior to signed motion does not count. Why does nasty FOC clerk and PA/Referee's statements contradict themselves? What about the games played with the delays?

5. Father's place of employment offers medical insurance. Why aren't they making any effort for him to cover my son?

6. Where do I go from here? Hire a lawyer? I really don't have the extra money.

7. Yes, I do make more money than
father. However, I work OT every other weekend. Meaning, I am not with my child. When I am on call it's Fri-Sun. at 24/3. I work for a utility company. Meaning I could be called out at 8am, 12pm, 1am (you get my point) and no my child is with his grandparents during this time. However, shame on ME for trying to provide all the extras for my child. I pay for field trips, sports registrations, equipment and everything else involved. I am sure you all are in the same boat. I just feel I am missing out on a lot (I work every other weekend) with my child so that I can provide for him and still run a household etc. The economy is bad everywhere and I personally can't stretch myself and thinner. However, I have had it. I know that I am rambling right now. But I am very angry with the whole stupid system and the lack of knowledge. Oh great! I get $8.00 a month for everyday medical. What about the $38.00 I just spent between an ankle brace, advil, tylenol, icey hot and self-adhesive heating pads because child got racked up during football game? I just hope that the turkey that I bought on sale can sustain us for a couple of days. Ooops! Child needs new clothes, new lenses for glasses, has a filling to be done on his tooth and money for class trip.

I am very sorry if I rambled. I am so disgusted right now. Yeah, I am PMS'ing and just spent 2 1/2 hours on a very cold bleacher, watching a 2 1/2 hour football game, in the freezing drizzly cold. However, I wouldn't miss it for the world and have never missed any of his school functions or sport games even if I have to take time unpaid from work.

Well, I would like to thank all who read this for allowing me to vent right now however, I really do need some advice on what to do with this whole CS system and if I should hire a lawyer or just let it go.

posted 10-11-2006 10:36 PM            

Good luck and I hope this helps.
Michelle