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Jayne65 New Member |
posted 03-27-2006 03:23 AM
 
Hi I am a 40 year old single parent to a beautiful boy but I have a problem with him at the moment. I have a man in my life for the first time in a very long time and since I have been seeing him my son's father has decided he wants to see his son every other week, which is fine, but my son now keeps telling me that I don't love him. It has really upset me and I spent most of Mother's Day in tears - anyone else have anything similar that has happened? I just don't know what to do. My new partner thinks that his Dad has said something to him, I don't think he has but I don't know. |
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Suzanne Member |
posted 03-27-2006 10:56 PM
I think that whether you are seeing a new guy or not any change in the amount of time your son spends with you might have him pose that question to you. Just make sure that you reinforce your love for him MORE then usual. Tell him you would love to spend ALL your time with him but his dad wants to see him,too. Tell him that you'll miss him when he's gone and when he gets back tell him you had missed him so much and make sure you give him an extra hug. He may be picking up on your excitement to see your new man and displacing it thinking you are excited to see him gone. Just sit down and really talk with him and let him know he will always be #1. |
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Bluebird Member |
posted 03-29-2006 09:38 PM
I guess there's no way to avoid the jealousy our children feel when we date someone. I give the same advice: just keep affirming your love for him and let him know your new man can never take his place-- that there's enough love to go around! |
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sandra Member |
posted 05-24-2006 10:02 AM
I have a little different take on the issue of dating with minor young children in the home. I always felt in my gut, that after me and her dad split up, and were divorced, that I needed to focus my attention on her, to make sure she had a stable home as possible, wihtout the added drama of new men coming in and out. At one point there was a really nice man who was interested in me, and it was hard, but i just felt it would be risky bc more second marriages fail than first ones!! I decided though it's a sacrifice bc you do get lonely at times, and want the companionship and love of a man, it wouldnt be fair to ask her to have to get attached to some new person, and then possibly another break-up or divorce, since second marriages have a greater rate of divorce than first ones. There's too many factors, that make it too risky- alot of men will not treat your child like their own, there is sometimes resentment, the ex gets jealous, and IF you go on to have children with this new man, and she is being shipped back and forth b/w both your homes, that makes a child feel discarded. ANyways, thats my feeling on it, that kids who've gone thru one major painful divorce, and loss of a parent in the home, should be provided alot of stability w/o added drama and emotional pain. |
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JAYJAY Member |
posted 05-24-2006 03:53 PM
i agree, just tell him how much you love him. and that he will always be the one you love the most.. -x-x- |
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