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jaysmom Member |
posted 11-13-2005 06:37 PM
  
Hello, I have a eight year old son, who father has never done nothing for him. Actually my son does not even know him the last time he was in my life my son was seven months old. I have been trying to get child support all of those years and have never received a dime. In the past every time we would go to court he would never show or quit his job. They put warrants out for his arrest but nothing ever came of it. Well, about eight months ago he just showed up at my home. It was a spring day so we were outside, I was totally surprise because I have'nt seen him since my son was about one. He walked up to my son and stated Well he wanted to sit down and discuss about getting to know him. After long consideration we decided to give him a chance. But when we asked for his address he did'nt want to give it to us. We did'nt think it was fair that he knew where we lived but we did'nt know where he lived. So he called back a few days later and gave it to us. Come to find out he lives a 3 minute walk from my new home. He was suppose to call us on saturday so we can set up a time and or place to meet and talk. That was 7 months ago I called him about 2 months after that. He stated he was busy working but before he gave us his address he was blowing up my phone, leaving messages about setting up a meeting with us. Well I gave his address to child support and |
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NCP Member |
posted 11-19-2005 10:04 PM
Your ex is irresponsible. And sending him to jail and leaving his other children behind will not make the 13,000.00 appear. When you talk to him, offer him that you will CONSIDER waiving the arrears IF he starts paying you an amount now. You are in a tuff situation there. |
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renae Member |
posted 11-19-2005 10:44 PM
I read your posting...it's a tough spot. You sound like a mother who is doing well by her child and is married to a good husband & father. While you are doing the best and it's obvious that your son's father is not and for as much as you don't want to read or hear it...he is his real father. Real perspective: My parents were divorced when I was 2 and my mother kept me from my father for my entire child hood. The entire time growing up I had all kinds of questions that noone on my mothers side of the family could answer or didn't want to. We naturally NEED TO KNOW this person, good or bad. We also need to make our own determinations. I was fortunate enough to find my father when I was 21. He passed on in 2003. I had so little time with him and I learned so much about myself from him. I know you have heard it before, but try to put your child first. Money or no money...it isn't about that. I am not saying they shouldn't support their children! My child's father is nothing but a challenge. He dumped me in my 1st tri-mester after 5 yrs together, I allowed him in the delivery room, skipped out on our daughter when she was two weeks old, and literally threw money at me when he finally came to see her! Not the man I thought I knew at all. I have taken the high road..moved geographically closer to him to prevent a long commute for his parenting time. Allowed additional time with him and his family(much to my dismay). He still picks arguments every chance he gets. I just remind myself how I felt growing up with my friend sasking me"So, do you know your real Dad?" My daughter thinks the world of her Daddy and at 18 months totally knows when it his day to pick her up. My point is....give your child a chance to make up their own mind. Unless he puts your childs well being at risk, give him a chance to try. Plus...maybe then you can get him into a court room once he makes a connection  |
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