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 New and just venting
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 06-07-2005 08:12 PM
  
I am from CA and my ex is incarcerated in FLA. I was granted $1,600.00 a month to start in the month of Feb. even though he moved out in Oct. and had not paid anything since....the judge refused to make it retro-active. He left the state and never paid anything, floated on over to TX then OH and finally FLA. The state of CA totally drug their feet...I had a lazy caseworker. I ALWAYS supplied them with his information of employment, addresses and more. 10 months went by and he finally got into legal trouble due to a severe drug problem that he aquired while out on the road. I attempted to assist the caseworkers....knowing he was on probation and the PO's have alot of power, still couldn't get anyone to respond quickly. The PO wouldn't even respond to me. I called the head of the CJ system and he shook up the PO but when he called me he stated that he could not enforce my ex to pay his child support, that wasn't part of his job and furthermore, my ex owed court costs and restitution and he was going to see to it that those fees were paid first. Anyway, my ex ended up w/ a probation violation and a new charge so he went off to prison. WEll then CA decided to do something, they informed HIM of his rights to have his child support modified.......to $o. That's right $0. So here I am w/ his two small kids, he left me w/ a pile of bills, shitty credit and a teenager that he totally tried to destroy (my older daughter). That was 3 years ago and I've since then gone back and got my Master's and am now a teacher but I am here to tell you, I am hanging on by a thread and so far in debt I don't even want to get out of bed in the morning. Depression can be totally debilitating. I'm frustrated with the credit bureaus, the child support system and everything else that we as single parents have to deal with. So...if you are hoping to get any kind of help while he is in prison, forget it. The system is made to help the inmate...not the children. |
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leigh1517 Member |
posted 06-07-2005 09:46 PM
That's TERRIBLE. I bet MN will reply to you and give you some good advice about the legal part of all of this. As far as the emotional part - hang in there. I'm a teacher too with two teenage boys and am now getting less than $200 a month. The ex messed with their heads too and left the mess for me to clean up. It will get better so don't give up. Keep doing what you need to do day by day and pray a lot. Goodluck! |
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 06-07-2005 11:46 PM
Thank you Leigh-- I started to reply to a posting about "prison" and got carried away and forgot where I was! I'm new to this site.... It's nice to have somewhere to go and not feel so alone. This country is in dire need of some revamping in the child support area. This is my second time around with the system. My older daughter is 19 now and I dealt with CA and OH for 18 years and neither state could get it right..........her father was supposed to pay until the month of June and he stopped payment in May and still has a balance of almost $800.00. I have written and called and the caseworker just mails these forms to me (which don't even apply) without any explanation whatsoever....it's like What is there to figure out? You have the divorce papers, he didn't pay, get the money!!!! Well that was a year ago. It's never ending. I could write a book (no kidding) with the stories I have of child support. ARGHH! At any rate....thank you for your kind words and empathy. I really appreciate it. I hope you have a great week. |
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MN110 Member |
posted 06-08-2005 09:25 PM
I don't understand. If he filed a motion to modify, you should have received papers informing you of the court date. There should have been a hearing. One of the forums he would have had to filed would have been an affidavit of service by mail. The child support office should also have been served one, and got a copy of yours. If he was unaware of your address, they would have mailed it to you. I don't really understand. Besides, you can't expect to get $1600 a month if he's in prison.. The state of CA has THE WORST child support system in the entire country. They are terrible. I'm 27, and my mother is still receiving an occasional support check from my bio-dad. Her case is based in Cali. |
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 06-08-2005 11:05 PM
I did get notification of a hearing, however, I was not residing in CA at the time so I was allowed to submit a letter. I know that there is a FLA case in which incarceration was deemed as insuffient cause to modify support to $0. I got no response from the court other than the judge modified to $0 for him and furthermore went back a year and made it retroactive. What's wrong with this picture? The bill collectors of the bills he left me with aren't so nice, they don't stop payment.....why does it seem that HIS rights are more protected than the children's? I don't expect to get anything from him while he's in prison but I think it should continue to add up then be applied as arrearages. It seems to be very unfair that noncustodial parents get can get away with this sort of thing, especially when they are incarcerated. What is the incentive to do well when they are out? My ex was smoking between $1,500.00-$3,000. a WEEKEND. He didn't make enough money to pay his support? He won't make enough when he gets out? PLease.......... I'm confused at what you are referring to with the address thing........ |
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MN110 Member |
posted 06-09-2005 03:41 PM
OK, so you were out of state and were unable to apprear. You need to appeal. And get some legal aid. If you search around hard enough, you may be able to find a lawyer that will work pro-bono. Look for a lawyer who's #1, a woman. #2, divorced. #3, a single mom like you. Or even someone who's retired, or a para-legal trying to go through school. You may also try to find a law school in your area. Some students are willing to help single parents just for experience. What I meant by the address thing was this. When you file for a modification, there are 2 forms that are filled out. One is the actual motion, the other is an affidavit of service. The affidavit is proof to the court that the party who filed the motion served you with the actual motion. They can have you served in person by a third party (knocking on your door), or they can have a third party serve you by mail. They have to fill out the motion, have it notarized. Then the third party (usually a friend or family member) has to put it in an envelope and mail it. Then they all go BACK to the court house and fill out an affidavit of service. The friend or family member has to sign a form (and have it notarized) that they put the motion in the mail, or put it in your hand. 3 copies are made of the motion, and the affidavit. One copy is kept by the person who filed the motion, one copy goes to the court, and the third goes to the child support office. When the child support office gets their copy, they compare the address that is on the affidavit to the address in their system. Addresses in the CS office are always confidential. If it was mailed to an incorrect address, they will make a copy of the motion and mail it to the correct address. What exactly are the charges he's in prison for? Is any of them a contemptive action for failure to pay child support? That would make a BIG difference regarding your situation. |
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 06-10-2005 12:24 AM
Thank you. You are very knowledgable and helpful. Simply by coincidence, today I got an email from his sister and he has been working since Jan. on a work release program Remember I said he was in a Faith Based Institution? Well that's part of the program. He went to some classes, professed his belief and wallah! He gets out on work release!! So anyway, he's working since Jan and of course no one bothers to tell me and CA was napping.......he "escaped" so he could go smoke some more crack on June 2 and he just turned himself in. Just my luck. Probably for the best anyway. He's in for several counts of Theft, Rcvng Stolen Property, Grand Theft, Grand Theft Auto and a few other related crimes. The most time he got was 3 yrs., some are 2 and they are to run concurrent. All of the above are directly related to his drug problem. This guy is 40 yrs. old and has been doing this most of his life with the exception of when he met me, he stayed straight long enough to fool me.....waited til I was pregnant w/ the 2nd child to start using again. (I didn't know about his past drug use, his family didn't divulge that info to me, or the fact that he was married to someone else). I think at this point I am going to transfer the case to FLA maybe they will stay on top of things. CA is always asleep at the wheel. |
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kedcse Member |
posted 08-18-2005 09:10 PM
heres the deal, and i believe every state is doing it..when the payor of support is incarcerated,he has NO ability to pay ANY support. True he put himself there, but the reality is that he cannot earn money..based on state laws(especially in CA), every parent has a responsibility to provide financial support, but it's based on the ability of each parent and when one is locked up 23 hrs a day, he can't work. I am not sure where the original order came from or was first obtained, but you can't just simply have another state modify the order. there are federal laws that govern how an order will be enforced,& modified state to state. I am not going to go far in depth with it, but it sounds like the order was from california..the state of FL has no jurisdiction to modify the california order, unless certain criteria exist. once you are aware that he is no longer incarcerated, all you need to do is inform the child support agency,and request they set an order now that he is released..the courts set a $0 order to prevent the amount of money being accrued, and it's not really a matter of kids rights to his rights..there is more to it than that......... |
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 08-18-2005 11:24 PM
I wasn't implying that I would have the state of FLA modify the order. I do have the right to transfer my case to the state of FLA and they will keep track of him and inform CA of his status. CA sucks when it comes to child support. I've dealt with Orange County for many years and have some unbelievable horror stories about some of the things I have been through with that system. Riverside County has not proven much better. I have a problem with inmates not being held responsible for their children. Yes, I know that if they are locked up 23 hours a day that cannot make any money, however, instead of modifying to $0.....why not let it acrue? At the very least the amount that would have acrued should be added on when the support is reinstated. As I said before, I know there is a case out there that has set precedent for modification of support orders of incarcerated payors......it was deemed that incarceration is insufficient reason for modification to $0. I have a copy somewhere and write with the info at a later date. |
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lexiesmom Member |
posted 08-18-2005 11:36 PM
I don't understand why it shouldn't acrue myself, if they were out and not working it would acrue. It's not like he was in the hospitol and not able to work because of long term illness (in which it would acrue) He is in jail because of mistakes and choices he made. So he should get off because he is an idiot, oh that seems fair. Good luck , Frankly pretty much giving up on the idea the any of the child support agenices are realy out to help the single parents unless of course you are living on welfare. Which if anyone reading this is is doing, don't take it personally, it more that the government cares more about the cases in which they need to get repaid than for those parents out there working ther butt's off to make ends meet and better thier lives than those who are relying on the system to support them . As for debts, collections, student loans, and depression, welcome I think most of us are wiht you.  |
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sheshi16 Member |
posted 08-19-2005 12:18 AM
Yep, I have been living it for many years! I think you are my new best friend!! I keep saying that when my children get older I will go back to law school and then set out to make changes to benefit the children....because really,.....when we are all stressed out, broke and trying to make things better for your kids....we are not at our best. I think the biggest thing is that you miss so much of their growing up because you are either working too much, going to school or just too plain tired to focus. |
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kedcse Member |
posted 08-23-2005 05:58 PM
actually sheshi16, you can close you case in california, then reopen it in WA...since that is where you live....Then you can go ahead and request a review of the order. If he is in the state of FL, that state will have to do it....good luck on tryin to get a dime from someone is always locked up...please let me know about the incarceration article whey you get it...see this one of the times, that the enforcement agency shouldn't be aware of the location of the non custodial parent, since it's a mandate to set an order relative to their abilty to earn, which is nothing..most of the obligors who get locked up, don't realize they need to ask for the review as soon as possible, since child support can never be modified retroactive unless the motion in court has already been filed(for example:you ask for the review today and the motion is filed tomorrow-the date child support would start is 09/01/05..and if it took 2 years to get an amount, then be it, it would still start 09/01/05, but say the obligor gets out of prison today and wants to have a review done to modify child support 3 years prior because he was incarcerated, it's too damn bad) |
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MN_Frustrated New Member |
posted 10-19-2007 05:42 AM
I'm in Minnesota and have been fighting with the probation office for two years. I have also learned that the Criminal Justice system is not set up to help the victim or children, but to just help the criminals. By the way, my ex was successful in getting his cs reduced under the new income shares. He had been making 58,000 a year, but then suddenly became unemployed the day I did a wage levy for arrears. He sat on unemployment and food stamps for six+ months; long enough to show that he had a decrease in his income. And it worked!!! For anyone else out there who is getting cs for one child in minnesota, be prepared. The new law is not fair. |
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