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Nappster Member |
posted 03-03-2005 08:12 AM
 
Hello everyone, I've been scowering the internet looking for answers, but I can't find what I am looking for. So I have come here to talk to the actual "experts". A little of my backstory. I have a 9 year old son. My relationship with his mother has been "stressed" at best since he was born. We broke up during her pregnancy, but got back together for about a year after he was born. Since he was born I have always paid child support and I have never argued the fact that I should, even when we were together for that year after he was born the payments were taken from my check, but I didn't care. When he was two she ended up with a new guy and ended up with two more kids over the next 5 years. Flash ahead to two weeks ago, she and the new guy are all done, they broke up about a year ago and he has since married a new woman. They are having issues over child support and visitation. THEY ended up in court to argue. Now she is so angry at him that she is coming after me! I take my son every other weekend (there was never any official visitation schedule worked out), I pay my child support evey week. Now she wants to modify my child support because she isn't getting enough out of the other guy and wants to put our visitation schedule in writing so she can coinicide it with what the other guy is doing so she has her weekends to herself free of her 3 children. So I am waiting to hear for the court date and she is not returning my calls to let me see my son. We were never married. What rights do I have??? I make more money now than I did 9 years ago, but I really can't afford a higher support payment every week. Will the court modify my payment because she needs more money? Also, I have NEVER claimed him as a dependent on mt taxes, should I be? She can afford the rent for a condo, a new Blazer payment, and god knows what else, but I am scraping by every week. I don't have the money for a lawyer to fight this in court. What should I do??? (Sorry for the short novel) |
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mommyof2 Member |
posted 03-03-2005 04:37 PM
Hello Nappster! I don’t have all the answers you are looking for but I can tell you what I do know. First off you need to keep a log (back track if you must) but you need to show that you had been faithfully seeing you son since the separation and until recently since she filed with the courts she has prevented you from seeing your son. (That does not go over well with the courts) one NEVER denies a child visitations because of money matters, those are two separate issues. The bottom line is that the court bases the child support on your income and how much time you spend with your son. You can file for joint custody and yes you can have it written in the court documents that you want to claim you son on taxes every other year. How did you base your child support 9 years ago? Did the two of you come up with a figure or it calculated though child support agency? There is a link on this web site that will give you an idea of what your child support payment should be you may want to check it out (it’s under Links click on "Child Support Calculator with links to other Divorce Law related issues"). Keep making attempts to see your son, each time she denies you log it down, each time you call and she refuses to give him the call log it down. Now that you are going to court now is your chance to ask for every other holiday, weekends, birthdays, father’s day, summer vacations. Just keep in mind that your son’s best interest should always be the first priority. Good luck! Lisa |
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Nappster Member |
posted 03-03-2005 05:22 PM
Hey Lisa, Thanks for the reply! About a month after he was born I went down to Social Services and started my support payments. The person I spoke with pulled out a chart, located how much I made per year, went over a couple rows and showed me the amount I would pay every week. End of story. This whole situation with not seeing him just started this week, I've left numerous messages and voice mails stating I wanted to see him but have gotten no response as of yet. I'm getting to the point where I just want to go to court and get this in writing and get it over with. |
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lexiesmom Member |
posted 03-07-2005 06:59 PM
Welcome. Child support is going through SS so at least yoiu have a record of it. Lisa is right you deserve and your son deserve to sepnd time together. Best of luck . |
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pooka Member |
posted 04-09-2005 11:55 PM
hope you make out alright. it really sucks when you get an embittered parent using their kids as leverage. good luck and god bless. |
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chngCSlaws Member |
posted 11-27-2005 12:37 AM
Hi, I would offer this advice... she should not just stop what has been the practice b/t you and your son this was a bad move on her part... ...this needs to be resolved in court...file your motion ASAP you have your CS through court and NOW you must request you visitation through court - As to her need for more money - she should be thankful that you have paid your support.. You are not responsible for her other children...that is their father's job. good luck |
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