posted 10-17-2005 09:06 PM            

After reading that, it also dawned on me that I could still go either way. I could turn towards God and be strengthened in the truth or I could turn away and allow the thorns to stop my growth. Some days, it's so tempting to stop. Life gets tough and I feel tired and beaten down. Then I look up and the sun is shining down, warming me and all I want to do is reach up to Him.

Two Sundays ago, I asked the head of the Womens Ministry to set me up with another mentor. (My last one just gave birth to her first child.) I've been adrift for a while now, so I'm looking for another plant on that fertile ground to help me as I grow. It's hard for me to fully trust people, but I'm hoping that the Lord will help me break down my walls and let my new mentor in.

posted 10-23-2005 10:38 PM            

It's amazing to me how God works sometimes. Some days He's behind the scenes and it's subtle. Others days, He out there in the open if you're looking for Him. I mentioned that I talked with the head of the womens ministry about getting a mentor. I did have a few women in mind, but I felt God saying "Leave it up to me." So when I was asked if I had anyone in mind, I replied that it was up to God. Well, he sure is amazing. At the next staff meeting, a woman I've worked closely with at the church mentioned how God had placed meeting with me on her heart. The head of the womens ministry had not shared my need of mentor with anyone yet. She sent me a note to see if it was okay.

The funny thing is, the lady I'll be meeting with was on my short list of folks that I'd feel comfortable with! How amazing is that. Well, my new mentor is pretty excited to be working with me and I'm excited to see how God has worked everything out. Plus I've missed meeting with a lady whose grounded in the word. I still have a ways to go in my understanding of things.

I've also been struggling with when He's talking to me vs. when I'm talking for Him. This was a much need bit of encouragement from above that my listening ears are starting to work again!

By the way, I picked Daniel up from the airport today. I'm so happy he's home! He had such a wonderful time and I loved hearing all about what went on. He was plum exhausted! Poor thing. We talked most of the way home. He picked up this awesome silver bowl w/a lid that a craftsman made over there. I love it! And he brought me some warm socks that a lady was knitting because he's heard me complain about having cold feet! He also picked up a cute pair of earings for Sar. She just got her ears pierced and he remembered that she couldn't wait to have different kinds of earings.

Now he's passed out at home. Tomorrow is going to be a rough day for him

I hope you've all had a great weekend,

posted 12-24-2005 01:00 PM            

I am feeling the same way about the throns cutting into me, preventing me from growing, while discouraging my trust in the Lord. I just don't understand sometimes, but really want to believe that God is in the plan and all this thron cutting is just what I have to endure to reach my full potential growth with God and within myself.

However, I wonder at times who is really sending me the messages? Is it God or the Devil. I get so confused at times. When I think it's God speaking to me and I react, I usually get unpleasant reactions and suddenly realize it wasn't God guiding me. However, I just can't understand why he let's the devil trick me each time when I always call on him first before making any decision. But then after reading ladybugg post, it must be something I have to go through to reach my divine happiness with God and myself.

I am struggling terribly bad with my faith and understanding of God and desperately needed some reassuring. So thanks for your post ladybugg and all the other member's responses. I needed to read those words because I needed some spirtual guidance this morning.

Perhaps I need to read my Bible more and get a better understanding of the Lord's word and messages. Also, I would like to join the group as well and feel it will be a great benefit to us all. I can't recall if the author was mentioned, but if not can someone please post it, as well as the title of the book.

posted 12-27-2005 08:56 AM            

I had someone once tell me that Satan doesn't waste his time battling for ones who are not earnestly seeking and finding Christ. You must be well on your way to reaching the sun, or he wouldn't be working so hard to decieve you. I've been battling with him hard core for the past 3 1/2 years. Up until a year ago, I felt like it was never going to end. Then, I started getting a bit better at battling Satan back.

As you can tell by my post above, I'm still not a fully functional defender of God. But I'm getting there. I still sink back and wonder if I'll ever get past those thorns. And then God sends a little ray of hope to help me get past whatever bump I'm going through.

And, we all have trouble at times figuring out what voice is Gods and what's Satans. I struggle with that alot. The only thing I can tell you, is it's trial and error. I'm getting better at figuring out what God is telling me, because I've listened to the wrong voice so many times. It sucks, but as you grow, it'll get better.

My mentor tells me that I'm still a toddler in Christ. She's right. And like any toddler, I need adult Christians to help guide me through this tough time and to kiss all the scratches that the thorns are leaving in my hide!

I can't stress to you enough how helpful it was to me to have Christian mentors. I met with my first mentor for two years. She saw me through so much. Then our time came to part ways and I was happy and sad. I can't even write this without crying. She touched my life in so many ways and I hope to be 1/2 the Christian woman that she is when I finally reach adulthood in Christ. Now I'm meeting with my new mentor. I know that she will come to mean the same thing to me.

Blessing to you Millie. God will do great things with you.