posted 07-13-2005 12:34 AM            

life creates a disconnect for us all, no matter how deep our sprituality or how involved we are in an active prayer life

the GOOD NEWS: we have HOPE, the most tremendous of gifts
no matter how down we are there is always a glimmer in our heart of love and a better time to come
awesome!

posted 07-13-2005 09:12 PM         

As Christians we sometimes have this idea that life should be smooth sailing because we have faith and go to church, do all the things that we expect will give us the answers. Well, Life just isn't that simple. It has taken me a lot of years to let go of that notion and know that faith has more to do with trusting God's direction with my life especially when I can't see where it's going. (which is usually through the tough times)

posted 07-14-2005 05:37 AM            

I have a problem with not always feeling good around and also feeling like a "fruitless" Christian. I haven't brought anyone to Christ. I rarely share my testimony. I go to a missionary church and am in a Sunday School class, where even though I normally wouldn't bet, I would be willing to lay money on the fact that majority of the folks are virgins. They all have grown up with outstanding families and it shows. A good portion of them are involved in missions work and outreach. They've led so many to Christ and done lots of other great things. I'm a single mom. I've been there for over 2 years and have only been in two sunday morning studies where I felt comfortable. I've been in 3-4 different ones.

Anyway, when I was on my work trip, I was telling God about my feelings of not being able to do anything for him. About how I feel worthless and that I don't contribute anything. I had been complaining about this as for a while. To the point of contimplating finding a new church. Well, he spoke back. On the way home I had two flights. On the first one, I met a Christian man. He looked like a good old farm boy (a country girl likes the look of farm boys!). Turns out he was a mechanic at a Christian camp in Wisconsin. We had a wonderful deep conversation and he told me how God changed his life. He went from a life of crime to living for God. It was pretty powerful. He told me of his desires to be a missionary. I don't have that calling. He said that whatever we do to help matters. We also had lots of other great conversation, but that stuck out.

On my flight back home, I ended up sitting beside a preacher. We talked the whole way home. About half way through the conversation, he just started talking about how so many folks compare their walk with others and how God doesn't make two walks the exact same. I told him that it was funny that he brought it up. I struggle with feeling useless as well. He said that if Sarah was the only one that I ever worked on for the Lord, then that could be His plan. To God it doesn't matter if we are Billy Graham or a parent teaching their child about God's love. Or even someone who plants a seedling knowledge of God with random people, and never knows the outcome.

I'm still praying about this. I do think that God is opening doors for me. I just stink at listening. Especially when it means that I'm going to have to put myself into a spot that I'm uncomfortable with. For me, this means setting up activities with my study group. The first thing I'm planning is a ladies get together. The men always go out and do there things. The women are generally left out. Then I'll have a cookout for everyone over at my house. Both planning gigs are not my cup of tea, but it's my calling for the moment. I'm still praying about the bible study. I'm not certain how that's going to go.

So, why did I share all that? I know what you are feeling like. I don't always feel God and it scares me. I like knowing full well that his hand is on my shoulder. But for some reason, I lose that. For me, it happens alot of times when I wallow. I don't hear anything he's saying because I'm complaining about being a worthless Christian. And, it sometimes happens for a long period of time. In this instant, he spoke loud and clear. Normally it's a LOT more subtle and I miss most of it. I also find that when I ignore the little things that he asks of me, I start to feel further from him. I don't know about your walk, but could that be affecting you?

posted 07-14-2005 08:59 PM            

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family. The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a small space in the cold basement. As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied, "Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife. After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field. The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel how could you have let this happen? The first man had everything, yet you helped him, she accused. The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let the cow die. "Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it." "Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed, the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him the cow instead.

Things aren't always what they seem."