posted 10-31-2003 01:13 PM            

"The Faith to Forgive"
Sometimes we think we've forgiven, only to have old feelings resurface in our times of trial that show us that we have not completely put it behind us. This article discusses how we can muster the faith to forgive.

The Faith to Forgive
by Marnie Pehrson

Have you ever been betrayed by someone you trusted? Someone you loved and counted on? Maybe that person intentionally hurt you or maybe they just made a poor choice that wreaked havoc on your life. At times we may feel as if we've forgiven and moved on, but when we bump up against the ramifications of another's acts, old feelings can re-emerge -- indicating that we have not completely forgiven after all.
Think of Joseph who was sold into slavery by his brothers. They hated him, threw him into a pit, wanted to kill him, but then enterprising Judah decided that they should sell him to slave traders and turn a profit instead. When Joseph's brothers finally caught up with him many years later, his travels had brought him to the 2nd highest position in all of Egypt. Only Pharaoh held more power and authority than Joseph. But when Joseph revealed his identity to his brothers, it was evident that he had forgiven them and saw the good in the events of his life. He said, "Be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life. For these two years hath the famine been in the land: and yet there are five years, in the which there shall neither be earing nor harvest. And God sent me before you to preserve you posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt." (Genesis 45:8)
What perspective and faith Joseph had! He wasn't bitter in the least. Everything in his life up to that point indicates that he never held a grudge – even when he was thrown into prison and stayed there for years. He always found the good and rose to the top in whatever circumstance he was placed. We can learn a great lesson from Joseph that we can apply to our own hardships. We can look for the good and see how God can use us in our current circumstances.
The following are some questions that we can ask ourselves when enduring adversity caused by others' poor choices:
• What would I choose to do now, in this given set of circumstances, that I may not have had the courage or willingness to do had I not come to this place?
• What have I learned from this experience? How is it making me a better person?
• How can knowing that God will make lemonade from this lemon, help me be more forgiving of the person whose choices have brought me here?
• What new people are a part of my life due to this path that I am traveling? How are these people improving my life? What can I learn from them?
• How is this experience enabling me to serve others with greater love and compassion?
• What options are now open to me that were not available before?
• How has my faith in God grown as a result of this?
• How is God using my adversity to bless others?
Having faith that God will make even your worst experiences work together for your good gives you the ability to forgive those who have harmed you. After all, it is the garden gate of our own little Gethsemanes that leads us to influential people, trains us, and gives us the opportunity to grow and develop the skills we need to become all that God knows we can be. Have you ever considered that the person who has harmed you was put in your life because God knew s/he would betray you and lead you on the path you needed to travel? Perhaps Joseph's brothers were chosen to be his siblings because God knew they could be counted on to betray him and thus set him on the path to save all of Egypt and future Israel! That's quite a thought to consider, isn't it!?