posted 05-16-2003 07:29 PM         

Shortly after my son (who is now 8) was born I woke up with a very bad headache and since then it has never, and I mean NEVER has gone away.

I've never met another mom or dad for that matter who lives with pain. I don't know if any of you do but if you do, or if you don't even, what keeps your spirits up? How do you explain to your child why you have this condition or what has help you get through times when you arn't able to play with you child(ren).

Any suggestions?

posted 05-16-2003 08:20 PM         

My mom used to get severe migrains that would keep her home from work for a week. When she first began having problems, she would only have them occassionally. She used to lose her temper very easily during that time. She didn't do anything horrible...she'd just overreact a lot (for some reason, at a young age I had figured out that my mom wasn't necessarily in a bad mood because I was a bad kid so it was okay...maybe she apologized to me and explained what was going on or something, but I can't remember). In addition to the migranes, my mom was also overwhelming herself with work and volunteer activities. She might have coped with us children better if she hadn't pushed herself to do everything and be perfect.

Over the years, the migranes eventually got worse...I think she became too worn out to lose her temper. LOL She quit volunteering and wasn't as busy with social things. She would miss A LOT of work. The house had to be completely quiet and her room completely dark (light would intensify the pain). She would throw up/dry heave a lot. I remember being a kid and checking on her in the only ways that children know how..."Want some water? Should I call Dad?" It was difficult not knowing how to make her feel better.

She went through all kinds of doctors, mediciatons, diet changes, CAT scans...you name it. Finally she met a doctor whose wife had the same problem. He was the first who made a connection between her migraines and menstrual cycle (which would last for 2 weeks and be heavy the entire time). The doc gave her a hysterectomy and she has been fine ever since.

Anyway, neither myself or my siblings (I was between the ages of 7 and 14 when my mom was going through this...my sister is 2 years younger than me and my brother 4 years younger) blame my mother for "not being there", because she was. Sometimes she just didn't feel so good. We never had any feelings of bitterness because she was an awesome mom when she didn't feel sick. We understood (we've all been sick and crabby at one time or another). I DO remember worrying about her, though.