posted 09-07-2009 10:17 AM         

I have 2 daughters ages 2 1/2 & 4 1/2 with a man 3 years younger than I whom I did not wed. I broke up with my ex 2 years ago b/c I couldn't deal w/ his drug addiction to pain killers. His addiction is a whole other story that would require its own chat room to address.

I am a professional (financially successful) motherless daughter trying to raise my two princesses in the best environment (spiritually, emotionally, educationally, and physically). I provide everything to those girls (private school--of my ex's religion denomination, speech therapy, art, drama, gymnastics, doctors, medicine, clothing, etc...) without any financial support from him. I am very flexible (or was until 2 weeks ago) with his time-sharing although we have no legal documents.

He drives me crazy! He wants to call at all times; show up at whatever times he wants to pick them up, brings them back at whatever time he wants. He provides no structure, routine or predictability for those girls.

I set up a call schedule and a pick up and drop off schedule only for him to clean his behind with it. How can I provide stability w/ such an unstable man?

How do I know whether he is still on drugs or not? Why doesn't he take me to court to force sleepovers like he always threatens?

He was a terrible partner. He was never suppotive of me & the girls financially. He put me through hell on my second pregnacy with his drug addiction, which I confirmed 4 weeks prior to my daughter being born. He is psychologically abusing w/ his words. He plays these mental games I feel like I am looking at Jack Nicholson performing The Shining.

I love my daughters more than life. I burried my mother (a single mother too) on 3/3/03. I was in bed for almost one year suffering her loss. One year later, on 3/3/04, I found out I was pregnant with my Gabriella and she saved my life. I went from wanting to die to wanting to live.

Who is going to rescue me now? I feel powerless. I am a hard working, dedicated mother. I live & breathe for those angels. Yet, my scarcastic, ironoc, irresponsible (possibly a drug addict still) gets away w/ all he wants. He manipulates me like if I was a puppet w/ the schedule and the visits.

I have never filed for a legal document or for child support b/c of the fear of the girls sleeping over his house. That is the only thing I have on my side.

I know the general consesus is for kids to have sleepovers w/ the other parent. Yet, in my heart of heart, I believe every child should have one bed to rest their little heads on. An occassional sleepover is fine, but when it is mandatory everyother weekend, I think is terrible for the kids. Adults love to travel, but 9 out of 10 can't wait to get home to their beds. Why should kids be any different?

I know my ex just does these things to hurt me. It really is not about the girls.

I am desperate and so sad I can't control myself. As I write, I am crying in a hotel room b/c I can't find comfort anywhere in this world.

I know my ex is crazy and is trying to make me crazy. The sad part is that I have given up. I can't take it anymore.

posted 02-23-2010 09:20 PM            

He will try to break them. Don't let him. Like the fox who tries to get into the henhouse, he will look for other ways to get you.