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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 Ex with new boyfriend. He slept in bed w/my ex & MY 5yr OLD!
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| Author | Topic: Ex with new boyfriend. He slept in bed w/my ex & MY 5yr OLD! |
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jbk36 Member |
posted 02-24-2009 02:45 AM
  
My ex & I have been apart for 3 1/2 years. We have a daughter who is 5 years old right now together. She started seeing someone I assume about 6 weeks ago, the reason I say assume is that she was still on Match.com for until about 4 weeks ago. Anyway, this guy "Jay" hasn't been around that long. I have not met him yet or been offered the opportunity too either. She has already introduced him into my daughters life, which I am agianst because of it being so soon.(I don't want a revolving door of men going thru my daughters life, she is very impressionable)Long story short, I picked my daughter up from school as I normally do last Thursday. On the way home, she was talking and mentioned that she took some toys to "Jays" house. I said Oh, that's nice... and left it at that. Later on, she said, "When I sleep over there again, I'lle have some toys to play with". BANG! EMOTIONAL TRAINWRECK!!!! I calmly asked her if she slept over there before, she said, yes, last Friday. I asked her where she slept, she said "I slept in Jay's bed with Mommy & Jay". I immediately had her tell me the entire story again while I video taped it. I then instructed my daughter that she is not to sleep in the same bed as him again. That if he wants to go to sleep, he is to sleep on the couch and she has the right to tell him that. IF he tells her no or her mother tells her no, then she is to tell her mom to take her home or immediately call me up and I will pick her up, anytime, anywhere. I made sure that she knew that SHE didn't do anything wrong, and I wasn't accusing her mom or Jay of doing anything wrong, just that a 5yr old girl shouldn't sleep with a grown man, it's wrong. I haven't approached my ex on it yet as I am sure I will end up in jail, I am that upset about it. I know it is morally objectionable and I really don't know why she would do this, other than to provoke a reaction out of me. Also, IF I say ANYTHING to her, she threatens me with her lawyer, who is a very powerfull lawyer, and I can not afford one myself so I feel helpless. There has to be something that can be done. I am not trying to control what or who my ex does, I have enough to worry about. I have absolutely no problem with her dating, although I do wish she would use some discretion around my daughter. From what my daughter says, "Jay" is a nice guy and treats her nice & her mother nice(but all guys do when they are trying to get something Any advice? I don't think I am over reacting or am I? Thanks... Joe |
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shawn single dad |
posted 02-24-2009 06:56 PM
This is a tricky situation and you do have a right to be concerned. But you can't go through life being afraid of her lawyer. It is good that you haven't rushed into confronting her, you need to let your emotions settle. But you do need to confront her, you can't expect your daughter to understand this or make the kind of decisions you intructed her to do. Call her, don't talk about it in person, and tell her that your daughter told her about the three of them sleeping together. Tell her this is unacceptable, just as if you were to do that with her daughter and another woman. |
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kimber72 Member |
posted 03-05-2009 08:23 PM
If what your daughter is saying is true, I would have to also question what the boyfriend is thinking. While the situation needs to be discussed, you need to proceed with caution. Your desired result is to have your daughter sleep in a seperate room from the man regardless of how that happens. Your ex may be confrontational thinking you don't want her to date. You need to remaind focued on your objective and steer her back that way when necessary. Make sure your points are solid that she cannot rebut them. Good Luck! |
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) and I am glad she found someone. I just don't appreciate the fact that he is in the bed with my daughter. I don't know him, and I don't really trust him or anyone else around my daughter(slightly paranoid I know BUT you can never be too careful with that).