posted 05-12-2008 08:42 PM            

I was at my moms visiting for mothers day, the ex calls asking questions about the kids, very evasive and weird questions. I asked him if he wanted to talk to them, I would put them on the phone, he said "no, but he was coming down to Jersey, and he was either going to say with his kids or at cupcakes house (a friend of his whom he calls cupcake). I could hear in his voice something had happened between him and the girlfriend, so I told him that he was welcome to the couch. I preped the girls by saying daddy was visiting thier uncle and he was going to come say goodnight to them. Anyway, he breifly told me a few things, two of which I know are BIG deal breakers for him (her weight gain, of 20 lbs and her debt, don't ask you dont want to know). Then he proceeds to say he was going to go home to throw her out.

Anyway despite all he has done to me, I dont wish him ill will (maybe her, not him). So I offered him the best advice I could, which was if he cared for her, work it out, if not let her go.

Now, pigs will fly before I ever take him back, all because it is not in me to fogive him, at least not yet, and it is not in me to forget, and it hurt bad enough not to want to do it again, and I do not trust that he wont when things get rough again, but like I said, I dont wish him ill will. After all he is the father of my kids and while he is alive I need to accept that and accept that they love him and too little to understand any different.

BUT....what a great feeling it is to know that this particular relationship is not working out and the reasons why....it's kinda like finding out that he has realized that the grass is not always greener and that he knows he made a mistake.

After all that, all I can do is shake my head and say....idiot. Now, if he were to coming running to me and say I'm sorry lets go out on a date....that would make ME the idiot!!!! My firends who have heard me tell this story have all told me he is going to do that, and that he was going to be on his best behavior and pretend to be the man I married.....and some have threatend me if I were to accept.

posted 06-24-2008 06:58 PM            

The sad part about this all is that I have to start looking at the girls' bodies for bruises and listening to them more about what goes on at daddy's house and possibly persue that he cannot have them with her around.