posted 09-23-2007 12:00 AM            

I have a 17month old baby girl her father and I broke up before she was born. I work full time and support my baby 100% by myself. I have asked her father to help pay half of daycare and help me with her yet he has refused stating he does not need to give me money.

A brief background we were together for 5years before our daughter was born, we never had problems before i got pregnant, he always said he would be there for us when and he would help with our daughter when he first found out i was pregnant, then he changed to this evil person. He has never paid childsupport, the only thing he has ever done for our daughter is buy her a car seat when she was first born and expecting me to pay for half of it and bought a total of 10 articles of clothing in 17months of her life. He has never taken care of her alone. He comes and goes as he pleases went on for 5 months without coming to see our daughter.

Now he expects me to let my daughter go with him when she does not know him anymore nor does he know how to take care of a child. He is irresponsible only thing he really cares for is going to parties, drinking smoking weed, and living a promiscous lifestyle.

My daughter has been sick for a while now and he has never ever not once came to see her at hospital when i have asked him to bring medicine come see her he always makes excuses and never shows up even though I have always kept in contact with him and kept him informed of how she was doing. He has started to threathning me recently I took my daughter to see him when he asked me to come over only to find him in bed with a female and for him to put his hands on me and physically hurt me broke my rib while i had our baby in my arms for coming over when he asked me to, on top of that i also found out at the same time that he is dealing drugs and he doing it while my daughter and i were at his house until i saw what he was doing and left.

He has started to disrespect me calling me out my name all the time now. Since the last incident i refused to come over his house again and my daughter has been at hospital he disregards anything that happens with our baby always putting his social life 1st. Example two weeks ago my daughter had to undergo an emergency medical procedure which he stated he was on his way to hospital and never showed up never called then stopped answering his phone until the next day when he called acting like nothing was wrong.

If i dont call him or answer his calls he threathens me with taking me to court yet he doesnt answer my calls when an emergency is happening. I ve asked him to help me with our babys things while she is in hospital since i am taking time off work to take care of her and he refuses to even buy a bag of diapers. All i do is be at hospital with our daughter 24/7 while he runs the streets and parties. When i tell him he doesnt care about our child he snaps.

Today he told me he is going to sue me for joint custody as soon as we get out of hospital so he doesnt have to pay child support to me and can take my daughter away 3times a week.

I dont trust him i know he will not take good care of our daughter and leave her with strangers, aside from that he has told me he wished several times that something bad happens to our child and told me he hopes i die, and i am worried that he can get joint custody. I have never taken him to court for anything, i dont trust him with my daughter and i have always allowed him to see our child whenever and as much as he wants he has just choosen not to be around.

He works full time and sells drugs.

I even ask him not to argue or disrespect me in front of my daughter and he doesnt care. I dont want my daughter to grow up thinking this is the right way a man treats a woman. I dnt know what to do anymore other than not call him or answer his calls.

What can I do? what chance does he have at getting joint custody?

I have tried and put up with many things from him thinking maybe he is just scared about having his 1st child and will grow out of it when our baby got bigger but now i see that is not happening but I can no longer continue to put up with him. I have asked him to go to counseling to talk to me, i have asked him to get along and for us to be friends for our daughter's sake but he is just too immature and doesnt care. Even four months after our daughter was born he got very sich and was at hospital we were no longer together yet i still was there for him everyday helped him in everything he needed on top of taking care of a newborn baby alone and he acts the way he does now.

He is 31 years old.

posted 09-23-2007 09:37 AM            

You'll be ok but stop giving him the consideration he clearly doesn't deserve. Look after yourself and your daughter's best interests first.