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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 Such a difficult situation
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jenbird New Member |
posted 09-18-2007 11:52 AM
 
Hi I'm new to the site. I became a mom last year. My son was born December 19th, 2006. He is 9 months old. Now to the problem. My ex. We were together 3 years. Let me also include that his nationality is cambodian. He was born there. Well during our relationship he visits cambodia and during that time I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't going to wait for the 3 weeks until he would get back. So I told him over the phone. At first he was excited...but once he returned from his trip he confessed to falling in love with a 19 year old girl and that he wasn't happy and didn't want to be together. Asked me to get an abortion. I didn't. So he lived with the fact that I was going to keep it. So during my pregnancy I was all alone. He played mind games with me...and then a month before my due date he calls to inform me that he's going back to cambodia and that he will be back for the birth. And that If I need anything to let me know. So after I gave birth I found out that he got engaged to that girl in cambodia. At this point I want nothing to do with him I don't want him around our son. He is a complete irresponsible loser. He doesn't pay taxes He works for his mom's business under the table. And his culture and ways of thinking are totally against mine....so back to the birth. He wasn't there to see the birth. I didn't want him there. Until I feel quilty so I call him and tell him. HIS NAME IS NOT LISTED AS THE FATHER ON THE BC. MY SON HAS MY LAST NAME. So since then he pretty much calls me whenever he's not working or partying to see him. He was coming over like once a week for a hour or two. Most of the time he's in the other room watching TV and I'm rushing around taking care of him. He has no clue how to take care of him. He'll play with him until he get's fussy and then gives him back to me and leaves. I saw him shake him and told him not to do that. There is no way I would ever let my son with him. My son doesn't know him at all. I'm so worried that once he gets bigger then he'll want more to do with him. And that is not right. He recently got arrested for fighting a a guy after a night at the clubs. Was ordered to do anger management. The only good thing was he was giving me money. BUT NOTHING IS COURT ORDERED OR IN THE BOOKS. So what rights does he have at all?? Currently I found a great guy. My son looks at him as his father. I can tell. I mean what kind of relationship will my son have if his father only wants to see him for a hour or two. And my son is so young. I think it would be different if my son was older and really knew his father. So since I've been in this new relationship. I know is going somewhere. We plan on living together. Marriage later on. I know in my heart this is the man I want to spend my life with. Finally after feeling so hurt, abandoned and depressed a better person entered my life. And my son's life. I want to see him adopt him. I have no idea how this would even work??? Does anyone know. I just changed my new number, hoping that he will leave us alone. But I'm still worried. He would have to really want it and get a lawyer. Part of me feels hurt and worried. I don't know if it's the right thing to do. To keep him out of my son's life? If things are gonna get ugly? |
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jasond Member |
posted 09-19-2007 09:24 PM
I agree it sounds like the biolgical father is immature and no good but he is the father. If he poses a danger to the child then definately keep them apart. If you really plan on having your new husband to be adopt you may want to begin documenting your ex's mistakes. If he shook the child out of anger or even ignorance then you should report that kind of behavior. Be careful about keeping the child from him it may give him a case against you. The next time he takes off to cambodia check out with the court to see about adoption if the father abandoned you then it may be as easy as putting a notice in the paper and going to court. I don't know if it will work but there are options just use caution. ------------------ |
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