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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 LETTING GO...
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fivejewels Member |
posted 04-16-2007 03:38 AM
  
My husband and I were married in 2000. We decided to live a christian life we left our old habits behind (so to speak)and forget about our past and in the process find happiness for ourselves and our family by serving the lord and others. I thought the past would be the past forever. But hello, one disagreement after another. I began to see the old devil slowly creep back into our lives. Hubby would walk down the road to cool off, which is a good thing but not coming home until a day or two later wasn't. Old habits began to creep back in and before I knew it I was reaching for a cigarette to ease the stress. Of course it was only a temporary relief until we communicated again after we worked things out. But I always felt that the punch line was missing in his excuses for not coming home or why he would cut our phonecalls short. Anyway to cut a long story short. We separated two years ago and have had an off and on relationship since then. Ive always felt that my husband has a problem with infidelity since the marriage but he always denied everything or left the best parts out. Once I caught him during the separation with some pub ho and I went cold and stopped all communciation. I know what I should do but letting go has always been the hardest thing for me especially since our youngest is only two years of age and more so after he consented to having our last two children. I had been working towards a divorce but for one reason or another, and with five young children there is always a reason to communicate. The cold shoulder didn't last long and I let the relationship begin again. We all get lonely at one point in time, which is why it's been hard to let go and also why I decided to join the single parents line. I need to associate more with other single parents to keep good communications and learn from it. The children take up alot of time. I do try to make time for myself which by the time the day is over theres not much of that left at all. So I appreciate any ideas or suggestions that anyone may have to help me through my dilema. |
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leigh1517 Member |
posted 07-05-2007 10:52 PM
When you are lonely is not the time to reconnect. This is a time of weakness and you need to find yourself. You need to be content with yourself. Another person can't do that for you. If and when you are content with yourself and he with himself, this would be the time to reconnect. However, if he is having affairs you would be wise to end it now or get into counseling with him. Good luck. |
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Pattymissa New Member |
posted 07-14-2007 03:45 PM
I was in a very similar situation. I would just give in to him and believe him when he would say that he would change. After I got pregnant with my daughter he was not there for about a year. He called a total of 3 times that year. And when he did call it was never how are the kids. How are you doing. Did you have the baby? No, it was all about him and how he was. My daughter is now 20 months and he has seen her just a couple times. When she was about 4 months he tried to come back into our lives and I tried because of the kids but it was all the same again and all he did was push. And so after about 2 months that was it. I had enough. And to this day I wish I did that sooner. He still tries to come back in with me but I will not let that happen no matter how lonely I am. Now I am dealing with him about my kids and that is hard enough. I hope that you can learn to let go. It might just be the best thing you could do for you and the kids. I know it was for me. I am so much happier with me then I was with him. |
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