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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 neverending stuff with ex!!
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| Author | Topic: neverending stuff with ex!! |
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sandra Member |
posted 01-03-2007 02:21 PM
  
I guess I'm not alone here in that my ex is bipolar and can switch moods, ideas from one day to the next. There was also domestic violence, why I left. I knew when I left that he would hang in there for a while, but I thought after a few years he would lay off. No, no such luck, he is in for the long haul. I would love if he was stable and emotionally capable to be a regular part of her life,but that's not the case. now to my dilemna, that has been ongoing for about 10 years now. too much detail to go into but the main thing is that my ex insists on having joint legal custody. I know that isn't a good idea with him because it's like letting a toddler drive a car- he uses the joint legal to exert constant control, i.e. "you didnt tell me she was taking such and such class!! I'm going to court- because I have a say so too and you HAVE to tell me eveyrthing she does, " etc. I have been the full custodial parent for most her life, last February in a bid to get him off our case, I thought maybe if I agreed to joint legal, he would calm down. He did, for about 2 weeks, then he started harrassing me, trying to control everything, and made our life heck. Over the summer we went to court again, and an outside person told the judge she recommended I have sole legal, which I now have, BUT that was a temporary order. the next thing that happened was we were supposed to start a child custody evaluation-- and my lousy lawyer never called to tell me that I had to fill out a form to send to the evaluator. The evaluator thought I was evading the process, and only after a long time was I told by my lawyer that they had overlooked the letter, and forgotten to send it to me or let me know. I was concerned that would look to the person doing the evaluation as if I was irresponsible. The other thing that is a big thing, is I am veyr concerned about hte stress on our daughter of going thru that process-- she struggles with alot of depression and anxiety, to point of being under a doctor's care. No wonder, her dad has never let go, and constantly harrasses us. After my lawyer informed me about 6 or 7 weeks late that I was supposed to send the form into the evaluator, I began to think that maybe it's best to drop the whole thing so that my daughter doesnt have to go thru that- we haven't done that before but i heard it's very invasive, stressful, etc. Can some of you please offer any advice on this? SOrry so long, basically what I'm asking is, if it were you, given the situation, do you think it would be better to 'make a deal' with my ex, and that way when we sign a paper the judge will most likely drop the case-- the only reason for the evaluation is if we are going to continue in court-- if we agree to drop the case, we would AVOID the whole child custody evaliuation. The downside of that is that the only way he will agree to drop teh court stuff is if I give him joint legal custody (or rather, agree to it, the judge would have to okay that..) that raises the other issue that I am not sure if the judge would okay him having joint legal, the lady who recommended that I be given sole legal told the judge he isn't emotionally stable and doesnt feel he can handle that. I just dont know which way to go on this and time is running out! I want our duaghter to have more stabilty- the evaluation thing, concerns me because it's very invasive and big brother like- some county person inspecting your life and they can have their own agenda. I was told county eval is not the greatest and it's better to have a private party do the evaluation. THat is what I wanted to do, but my ex said he couldnt afford the private option, and so by default I was not given any choice, he always seems to get around things that way, very frustrating. He has a good lawyer, actually she is evil, but good as far as fighting for him, she has no morals, but at least she does her job. My lawyer is like a lump of clay and seems ot have very little to zero interest in helping defend me. If we start the evaluation process, the person will see that I did not send the forms in for a long time, and I dont know if my lawyer will admit that he had forgot to give them to me. If we drop the evaluation, the only way to do that is to agree to let him have joint legal say so- which opens up a real problem in it's own, and the judge might feel I have bad judgement to give him joint legal after what that lady said. |
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JAYJAY Member |
posted 02-04-2007 02:12 PM
Hi Sandra, Havent been around much of late, how are things going. Did you get all the stuff sorted out and if so i hope it is working out for the best. -x-x- |
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