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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 his gf won't let him talk to me
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| Author | Topic: his gf won't let him talk to me |
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atwitsend Member |
posted 12-12-2006 09:27 PM
  
does any one else have this problem if so how do you handle it? Right now my ex and I talk via answering machine- he calls to tell me when he is taking our daughter for visitation, I leave him a message back. When we do try to talk, it usually ends up in shouting match. He and I have a mutual friend. Our friend told me that my ex would like to get along with me for the sake of our duaghter but his gf of 3 years won;t let him talk to me. I personally think that is bullsh--! Because with and without her in the picture we still could not get along. He was very verbally abusive to me before the divorce and has been after to. I once asked him at the drop off (which is a police station for another entire situation) if he and I could try to talk and get along for our daughter's sake. He replied-- why do you think I moved out of the county- to get away from your as-! She wasn't even within earshot that time. So I personally think it is his choice not her doing. So why the excuse? |
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motwgk Member |
posted 12-13-2006 01:18 PM
Everyone would *like* to get along, it's the actual doing it that rarely works. My ex and I can barely communicate. We both say we'd like to, but it doesn't happen. We use email almost exclusively. Part of it may be control, even on my side I have to admit. There was some physical violence, and much verbal abuse in our relationship, and frankly when I have to worry about my physical safety, it's hard for me to play nice, even for my daughter. I'm working on that. Part of his reluctance in letting go may be just that - nothing left to control if he does. It's easier to play the victim. I'm trying right now to just take the high road - be respectful since he's her father, try to be aware that his opinions come from his wanting to be with his daughter and are not his wanting to get back at me (ok, that one's tough), that his attitudes and behaviors are borne from frustration and not manipulation (ok, that one's tough too). But maybe, just maybe, if I can be respectful and civil, our daughter will benefit more. She's old enough to see what's going on, even if she doesn't understand, and I want my example to her to be something worth remembering in the years to come. Good luck, it's tough. |
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Bluebird Member |
posted 12-13-2006 02:03 PM
Well said, Motgwk. I agree with you totally. My ex and I barely communicate either and he is very manipulative and selfish. My daugther is 15 now and sees him clearly for what he is. I am guilty for bad-mouthing him to my daughter at times, but I want her to see his manipulation so she doesn't seek relationships with men who'll treat her the way he treats me and her. Atwitsend, your ex is responsible for his own behavior. His girlfriend can only manipulate this situation as much as he allows. He sounds like a spineless wimp to me! I'm sorry you have to deal with this. |
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