posted 09-15-2006 10:10 AM            

I assume it means whether she's homeschooled, put in public school or a private school. If she needs remedial summer school, if she qualifies for advanced placement, these would be things we would need agreement on. Things that affect her basic educational needs.

He seems to think it means signing field trip forms, signing forms allowing for testing, and signing forms allowing her to participate in afterschool functions. I think those are day to day decisions, not something that affects her education in a major way.

For the afterschool functions, for the record, I only sign her up for functions that do NOT affect his time with her. If they do affect his time, I send them to him to make the choice. He feels if it's his choice on functions that happen on his time with her, that I'm not respecting him as the father and not letting him provide input into her education.

posted 09-15-2006 11:35 AM            

A major decision I would be happy to talk over (well, ok, email) with him. We just haven't had any.

He wants input on going on field trips. He wants input on whether she should take tests. He wants input on whether she should sign up for an afterschool project on a day when he doesn't have visitation.

Our daughter is only 8. She thankfully doesn't have any special needs, she's just a regular, average kid.

Major decisions, as defined in our parenting plan, require the requesting parent to notify the other parent in writing, and the other parent has 2 weeks to respond. There's no way that can be done for a field trip!

posted 09-15-2006 02:33 PM            

It sounds to me like he expects the world to revolve around him. After-school activities that occur on his days have to be okayed by him? Was that his idea? Aren't the activities for your child's sake, not his-- or yours?

Maybe I'm misinterpreting his intentions, but it sounds ridiculous to me that he thinks every signature, every activity, every little thing involving school needs both parents' input and signatures.

posted 09-15-2006 03:27 PM            

The activities are for our daughter, absolutely. And I have no problem not committing to the ones during his time with her, I have no problem letting him make that decision. There are plenty of afterschool activities on the 3 afternoons she's with me that I don't think she's missing out on anything. If I truly thought she needed this activity, and he did not, I'd be happy to provide him visitation on a different day to accomodate my need for her to attend it. It's an extracurricular activity for crying out loud - it is *NOT* essential to her education.

I did talk to an attorney, and she said that joint educational decisions are decisions that impact change - the curriculum, the physical school building she attends. So sending her to a private school would require a joint decision. Sending her to an advanced placement class that meets in a different school, or has a different curriculum than that of her regular grade, would require a joint decision. Switching teachers in the same school would *not* require a joint decision.