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 The Ex is driving me crazy
 Please don't hate me--A ? from the wife
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| Author | Topic: Please don't hate me--A ? from the wife |
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Goddess Mommy Member |
posted 09-05-2006 07:23 AM
 
I asked this question on another forum but I think most of the single-mothers were too hurt to give an un-biased answer. So here goes my situation... I've been married to my DH for six years. He has an eleven year old son from a previous relationship (they were never married). Although I don't think BM's mission in life is to get back with my DH I get the feeling that she REALLY wishes they were closer. Like since they have a child she wants a bond/connection that goes beyond their child, she wants a friendship. My DH is really good about keeping the boundaries set when she gets out of line. It's been 10 years since they've been together. She called my DH the other day after them only speaking twice very briefly since January (he's kept his distance from her for something she did) and said, "I know you don't talk to me but I hadn't spoken to you in awhile and just wanted to see how you were doing and wish you a happy belated birthday". To me it seemed like a 'just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you' call. Since its been so long since they've been together I just don't understand her need to do this. I'm not jealous, she could never be a threat to my marriage, but I'm curious. Is this common??? (I've never been a single parent so don't know what its like or the emotions that are involved). My question is... For guys does your ex wanna be buddy buddy with you even though you've moved on to another relationship? |
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lexiesmom Member |
posted 09-05-2006 11:13 AM
I know from most of my friends that it seems to be common to at least try and be freinds, afterall there is a child involved and it is better for them see you as friends than enemies. I have two exes who even though we don't have any children together, they were a part of my life for several years, thus a part of my daughters life and we remain friends, both are married now and we still chat from time to time about life etc. Thier wives know we chat, and most of te conversation is about my daughter or thier kids. I still allow one of my exes and his wife to take my daughter out and do things. |
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lkellyhappy1 Member |
posted 09-05-2006 11:29 AM
They have a child together..they have a PERMANENT bond for LIFE. She is not going anywhere. And yes she is going to call to chat with him once in a while. So what were those BIASED opinions? |
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Goddess Mommy Member |
posted 09-06-2006 02:23 PM
Thanks Lexiesmom! |
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DisneyMom Member |
posted 10-22-2006 05:29 PM
I think if the mother and father can have a friendship for the child's sake, the new wife/girlfriend should step back and let that form. Perhaps maybe there is some insecurity on your part that you are afraid could happen? Yes. The bond CAN be strong for the parties involved, but he is with you, not her. Unless your relationship is rocky, I dont think you should worry. In my case, no, it isnt common. I did leave him. But he has some drug and alcohol addictions that resulted in me divorcing him. There is no question I would get back wtih him. He has a gf and another child now. I wish them the best, even though she and him are not mentally stable. She allows him to stay unemployed-she is an enabler. |
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