posted 08-03-2006 06:04 PM            

Our daughter saw an optometrist last year for a nonserious eye condition, the optometrist saw her during the school year and did eye muscle exercises. After the therapy was complete, my daughter went back for a follow up visit. At this visit, it was just me, my daughter, and the optometrist. He stated her eyes are doing great, no more therapy is needed. Well in the meantime she began to have alot of depression and anxiety that started around January. My ex refused to believe she was diagnosed with this and insisted her symptoms of severe depression and stuff was caused 'by her eyes'. Ridiculous, I know, but that is my ex,...he gets very focused on an idea, no matter how many doctors tell him, no, eyes don't cause depression, he sticks to it like glue and doesnt back down. I believe it's something he doesnt want to consider, because he was diagnosed with bipolar himself years ago.
He kept insisting it's her eyes, so to reassure him (stupid idea, kicking myself here..) I took her back for another eye check, just 3 months after the follow up exam. The difference was this time, my ex came to the appointment and stood overseeing everything the optometrist was doing and when the optometrist said her eyes were fine, my ex barked at him to 'keep checking! I know her eyes are not fine..." the doctor was really uncomfortable and checked more, and said they were fine.
This went back and forth, my ex demanding and directing him to keep checking and to 'do something'. Finally in an obvious attempt to get my ex off his back, the optometrist asked our daughter if she could do a few minutes of exercises a week, 'to reassure her dad'. She said " hey..but you said my eyes were fine..." (smart girl) . The doctor was putting himself in a bad position, by not just sticking with his finding, and telliing my ex "look, guy,..her eyes are fine. I'm sorry if that doesnt please you,...but you are welcome to get a second opinion.." that is what I would expect him to say, not to try and find some 'middle ground' to please my ex. We left the appointment and I told him I didnt think it was right for him to prescribe eye therapy just to reassure her father, since it wsn't necesary.Later I asked the optometrist to send me a letter with his findings. He wrote that her eyes were checked, and found to be in very good condition at 95%. He also added a false statement that 'eye exercises were prescribed". He NEGLECTS to say they were only prescribed at the strong insistence of her father. How could he have said earlier her eyes are fine, no treatement needed, then after my ex puts on the pressure, suddenly he prescribes them??

Fast forward, since that appointment, my ex told me he has gone into 'visit' that optometrist 5 or 6 times. I asked him why, and he said he 'just wanted to discuss her eyes with him'. Geez,..how much discussing can one do about eyes??? GIve me a break!!

Now, the really troubling part is, since my ex has gone to 'visit' him at his office, this optometrist wrote a new statement that has new and very different 'facts'. He writes that afterall, he never really did an adequate eye exam, and left out the part that would test for a.d.d.

Excuse me?? I called him and said "I understand my ex was into visit you, again, at your office last week, ??" and he said 'mmmhmm" . I said "is it true you wrote a letter for him that says you never really did a complete eye exam, and that could indicate a.d.d.?" He said "uh, I don't remember, and I'm kinda busy.." at that point, I got very angry, but forced a lid on my anger and just said 'sir, you did a comprehensive exam on her 3 months before and said her eyes were excellent, no therapy needed. At the second exam you told us you checked everything you could, because my ex kept directing you to 'keep checking. I find it hard to believe that now, after 5 months, right after my ex goes to visit you at your office, you write that you never actually checked her eyes completely." I told him that my ex is trying to imply that her bipolar illness is really just a.d.d. (it's not at all, she was seen by 2 doctors) and that is why he was pressuring him to write a statement like that.

Anyways, I told him that I needed a copy of the letter that he wrote during the time my ex visited him, he said he might not be able to find it. I finally had to apply some pressure myself and said "excuse me, I am the custodial parent, and I'm entitled to her medical records. Would you like me to fax you the court order?" that got his attention, but unfortuatnely since I got the copy from him, and have read it, it totally contradicts evyerhting he said before, and is a baldface lie. I told him that I have the original letter he wrote with his findings that her eyes were very good, and he didnt say anything.

Boy, I am hoping this very difficult season will pass soon...I cannot believe that he would let my ex manipulate him like that. Was it THAT hard for the man to just stand by his findings and tell my ex to take a hike? I don't get why he is allowing my ex to come to his office that many times, I'm assuming he has other things to do besides chat with him about eyes, and then risking his license by writing contradictory statements.

The only reason this concerns me is that my ex is trying to manipulate the facts of her eye condition, she was successfuly treated for it, and her eyes are perfect now, and anyways, even if she was half blind, eyes do not cause bipolar symptoms.

At this point I am so furious with this optometrist I dont want to talk to him, write him, or see him, but I need to somehow address his inconsistent letter, otherwise if I let it go, it will look like I didnt have any problem with it. Any ideas on how to address this in writing?