posted 05-12-2010 06:55 AM         

I need advice on how to react towards my daughter's behaviour latetly.
I have been divorced from my wife since last April. I have two daughters which I see every Tuesday and every second weekend.
In Nov. I officially started a relationship with someone I had known for a long time. My daughters knew them as a friend in the past.
This past February I told my kids I had a girlfriend and we were serious but that it was not a threat, replacement for their mother, instead to think of it as an addition.
My younger daughter (13) is fine and gets along with her well. My older daughter (15) appeared okay in the beginning, congratulated me, however, latetly ever since girlfriend and I went on a trip she has been acting up, trying to exclude my girlfriend sometimes when she is around, trying to take front seat, just tiny little things. I sat her down last week and asked how she was feeling and she said it was weird for dad to be with a girlfriend, that it was too fast, I should have waited longer, that she wished I was with mom and that she is umcomfortable not with the my girlfrined as a person but with me having a girlfriend.
That being said, I saw her last nite and we discussed her having to try as well as we were all trying and that it didn't have to be negative. At first she said okay.
She then went home and sent me an email saying she feels like my girlfriend is more important than anyone else including her and her sister, and that she is not okay with the divorce and has been hiding her feelings for a long time and believes is just best she doesn't see me for awhile. There were a bit of guilt trips in the email- ie. If you even care to read this, etc.

How do I tackle this situation? It took me nearly a year to decide wether to leave even though I knew I was unhappy because I was afraid of the impact it would have on my children. This is exactly what I don't want. I am not sure what the right course of action is at this point, it feels like my daughter is asking me to choose? However, I will not be going back with her mom even though she has mentioned a few times this is what she wants.