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 douting myself
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brian4 New Member |
posted 06-17-2008 10:07 PM
  
Hello to all i'm new here. I find my sel douting myself and could usesome input. a quick sermation of history is i had been with my stbx for 10 years married for 4 we have 4 children together and one she had alwready her now 12 shes had 3 affairs i know about the most resent started in oct 07 when i found out in jan 08 i tried to turn the other cheak and fix things only to be treated like i cheated( like shit) i was told she fell out of love with me and in love with him he's been in jail since the end of november for imigration and a drug charge. in to first week of feb i found out she haddent made a house payment in 5 months i keeped my calm and worked though the day and went to work the next day at 9 am i recieved a call from the police because the came to serve eviction papers and found my 7 month old 3 yr old and my 7 yr old alone at the house my wife was arrested and i came home. at this time i said no more and did not let her come home and the children were returned to me. from feb to april i tried to work thing out but all she could do was be cold and tell me she did'nt know what she wanted in april i moved me and the kids into a large 3 bd upper flat where i still am her behavior got worse and in may she got mad at me and filed a false resraining order on me and took my kids, to put mildly i was pissed this was a monday tuesday i had a lawyer and friday the divorce was filed my lawyer killed the restrainig order and wen i picked up my older two from school my wife attact me she then tried to have me arrested on battery charges it didnt work after this i got my oun restraing order at got my other two children her efforts to hurt me have been incredible but have not gotten her anyware i gave my lawyer all the information i had and he really stuck it to her yesterday the judge granted me placement of my children. i know i'm in a war for my children and the information i've given has not only shut her down but my also have cost her her place to live and my stepsons. needless to say i feel horible but i keep thinking i need to protect my 4 first now this week she is going to be arrested for harrasment and violating the restraing order. i really didn't want this but after she took my kids i didnt know what else to do but fight for them by all means nessesary now shes asking me to go to councling and try and fix things but i don't trust her one bit and i don't want to take the chance of loosing my kids now of course there much more detail but al i just being vengefull this stress is very depresing and it's all i can do to try and be a good dad it;s just am running very low on energy and i having a hard time keeping up with the kids emotional needs i love them with everything i am and i;m so afraid between work and the divorce they'll suffer more i guess i'm asking if i'm doing the right thing |
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shawn single dad |
posted 06-18-2008 07:16 PM
You are doing the right thing, but it will continue to be difficult. I think you definitely need to 100% consider your relationship with her over. It will, and should, take her a long time to regain your trust. I hate to be so cold about it, but given your story you need a lot of space from this chick. Focus on giving your kids some stability and be reasonable and not vindictive, but alos for now be very leary and get a good visitiation schedule in writing. Pray and persevere, buddy, that was my philosphy for a long time, and it helped me get through a very tough couple of years. |
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