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 My boyfriend is afraid of being a stepdad...
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| Author | Topic: My boyfriend is afraid of being a stepdad... |
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Mary78 New Member |
posted 06-22-2009 08:50 AM
 
I have been divorced for over a year and separated for a year and a half prior to that. I have a beautiful 4-year-old daughter. I am 31 years old and my boyfriend is 30. We have been dating for the last 6 months. We are very compatible in every way. The last 6 months have been amazing and we have done so many things together and have become major parts of each other's lives. This relationship has been a breath of fresh air after an awful marriage and unsuccessful dating. I feel lucky to have met him. We do not fight or have any disagreements. However, I'm sure they'll come... The issue that has come up continually in our relationship is my boyfriend's fear of being a stepdad. We have no plans of marriage now, or of even living together in the near future. However, he is extremely concerned about every aspect of it, including the day-to-day living with a child. He also has a job that may one day take him away from the city he lives in. I am willing to move someday, but he is worried of how custody will work for my daughter. He is a very cautious and amazing person. He is very good with my daughter and she adores him, but he is very unsure of himself. Every couple of months we discuss his fears and seem to always wonder if we should end things. We just had another one of these discussions yesterday. We did not break-up, but I am left wondering if I am doing the right thing for my daughter and I. He may be the right person for me, but maybe not for her and I together. I am trying to continue to make good decisions that benefit my daughter and I, but worry about the future with him. He lives about 30 minutes away and we see each other every spare moment. I considered moving to the town where he lives, which is larger, although after yesterday, I have decided that would not be a good choice for my daughter and I. Any advice would be helpful... |
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shawn single dad |
posted 06-23-2009 04:53 PM
I hope you see from other posts that it is important to proceed very slowly and deliberatly. You need to listen to what your boyfriend is telling you, he isn't ready to be a dad to your child. And he is right about the custody of moving a child a long distance. Are you prepared and wanting to fight to move your daughter away from her dad to follow this guy wherever his career may take him, but more importantly is this what is right for her? |
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