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Author	Topic:   Single "young" parents
Spades Member	posted 11-01-2008 09:52 PM          Hmm, well Im 23 and single father of a three year old boy....the problem is, there seems to be no such thing as a young woman interested in a family at my age, young mothers seem few and far between, even more so when your looking for someone with a good head on your shoulders, Im trying not to generalize. but its difficult when every young mother I meet is still umm "young" for lack of a better word. Don't get me wrong, I like a little fun just as much as any guy my age, its just hard to find a friend inside a lover so young..
jwg Member	posted 11-02-2008 09:10 AM             Welcome to the site! I know this won't help you but the problem of meeting someone responsible and willing to get involved with a ready-made family doesn't get any better with age. I'm in my 40s and the men I meet are exactly as the women you are describing. The "good ones" are very few and far between. I've yet to meet someone like that that isn't already involved in a relationship. I think, as a man, you stand a better chance of meeting the kind of woman you want eventually.
Spades Member	posted 11-02-2008 12:55 PM          Thanks for the reply, I just woulda thought having a child would have sobered some of these girls, like it did to me, apparently not....I was looking for single mothers so I could relate with them and vice versa, but of the ones I met, its still all about the drug scene and parties every weekend, thats why I was thinking, maybe its where I live? lol
purple Member	posted 12-14-2008 12:47 AM             I hope you meet an incredible woman Spades that shares your understanding of children and wonderful outlook on life. [This message has been edited by purple (edited 02-03-2009).]
cole1454 Member	posted 12-20-2008 12:28 PM             So I have a graciously boring job that allows me to wind down from playing with my wirey 5-mo old boy and also allows me to search the internet till my eyes are blood shot. That said, I came upon this post. And may I state the obvious? Well I will, you're a male and you are talking about females. haha I know crazy, right? Nah, I'm 22, female, and have a son. Before I had Leland (my son) I was the typical college party girl. After I had Leland, it did "sober" me up but I still desire to be out with my friends. I think the reason behind young moms still wanting to be wild is because they really didn't have a choice whereas males are more likely to have the choice to parent the child. Females are more likely to be stressed (most of the situations are due to father not wanting to be in child's life...still on the topic of YOUNG parents). Just a thought. Granted, I have NO idea if you chose to take on the child or not. Regardless, I do know what you are saying. ------------------ "By all means let's be open-minded, just not so open-minded that our brains drop out."
emilyrae89 New Member	posted 01-11-2009 03:33 PM             I'm feelin you... i'm 19 and the mother of a 3 month old. i live in a small town. Tough.
msextraordinaire New Member	posted 03-28-2009 07:27 PM             there are many of us I assure you. I'm a young Mom.. I'll be 25 in July with a 6 year old.. I joined the Navy-I was in 4 years- I got out last June- people that I relate to are really critical usually of my being such a young Mother- due to them making more organized choices with their young adulthood. I am a freak- legitimately. I talk about politics-philosophy- I read books- make art.. I learn random bits of random languages. I feel completely miserably incapable of creating lasting friendships with people that I feel I have something in common with. I don't even want to talk about trying to add a man into that equation- the men that I end up dating I run away from essentially- because I feel incompetent.. I haven't accomplished that much and I feel like I don't have anything to offer them. I have the greatest kid in the world, but to a man who has himself and that's it - I don't even want to entrust that kind of vulnerability by assuming that the intentions and capacity for dedication is remotely similar to mine. I feel really lonely, actually. I'm really happy to be my Son's Mother, and I love him dearly, and I am working toward getting a decent education- and hopeully some sort of eventual professional degree someday. I also want to love someone else- and I do want a relationship. But I want love, and that's difficult to find as a single parent. Because eventually you have to think about how you can possibly if at all connect your love life to your child's life and if they would be compatible. I'm scared of never finding .. love. That's my epiphany- whether it's driven by fear of failure or abandonment- or making a mistake in my son's life- I don't know. His Dad doesn't contribute anything he's not even around and hasn't been until recently- and even now it's rare- and the contribution is barely there. It's almost as if there is some other agenda or motivation behind it aside from offering himself to my son. Eeehhh-

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