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 Finding out How to Make it Single
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| Author | Topic: Finding out How to Make it Single |
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shermstick Member |
posted 06-11-2008 07:42 AM
  
I just recently found out that I am 8.5 weeks pregnant. I am struggling with emotional conflicts. I have a long term relationship of 2.5 years and this is not the father. Things went sour towards the end and a drunken situation got me to where I am at. I just moved out into an apartment by myself with my dog. I feel depressed all of the time. I keep wanting my old life back and struggle with how to cope being single and raising a child. This is my first time being single and living on my own too. My fear is that I can't survive mentally with all of this, but my long term relationship won't allow forgiveness at this time. So... i need some guidance. |
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shawn single dad |
posted 06-11-2008 07:19 PM
tough situation, but this is how life gets us to grow... First and foremost, make sure you stay active, keep working, walk your dog, see your doctor regularly. It is also important to reach out to God and work on your spiritual side. And I also think you should see a counselor, you need someone to talk to that can help you when you are down and to help you see the way forward. And that is just it, you need to move forward with your life, don't dwell on your mistakes (but do learn from them), plan your future and start working that plan. It will be a tough year, but with prayer and determination you will survive and likely grow and hopefully thrive. God Bless |
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shermstick Member |
posted 06-12-2008 02:30 PM
I really appreciate that insight. I am seeing a counselor right now. It is just difficult to go out and do stuff. I feel like I am constantly being degraded in public. Like someone knows I sined and this child came from an act of adultry. It's very difficult. Not too mention, my family still gets along with my long term relationship and I feel as if I can't turn to them for help and advice because they have a biased view point. They make me feel bad and support him 100%. I am looking at building a house and finding different things to do as a hobby to occupy my time. My ultimate goal is to just sit down at the end of the day and feel accomplished again and ready to tackle the next. I just feel right now that I am sitting down and spinning in circles. |
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shawn single dad |
posted 06-14-2008 10:39 AM
to be totally honest, I think you need to consider your relationship with the 'long-termer' completly and permanently over. If your family wants to continue to think otherwise and treat this guy as family that is their choice, but time will eventually force reality on them as well. You also need to know that of course no one is looking at you and judging you, even the odd one who knows the situation. forget about that and move on. forget about the ex and forge ahead with the leanered knowledge of this experience. You need to get whole on this so you can put your energy into being the best person and mom you can be. I am glad you are in counseling and venting on this site, you are on your way. You'll be OK. with love |
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mags50 Member |
posted 11-28-2008 11:59 PM
You sound like you need to have a serious talk with your ob gyn regarding your depression. Don't wait. You might want to think about talking to a family member, friend, priest, therapist, whatever about what your options are regarding your child. Things are only going to get more difficult....pregnancy and childhood are the easy parts. Maybe discussing your options would help. Things like your readiness to be a mom, what kind of family support you'll have, finances, or adoption. I mention that because my sister is adopted. The woman who put her up for adoption did so because she had 5 children with a husband who had just walked out on her in the early 60's. It was the most loving thing she could have done for her children, my sister, and my family. Just a few things to think about. Get yourself to your doc as that may help you think clearer. Oh...no matter how you got pregnant the man is still financially, etc. responsible no matter he says. Hire a lawyer and see your doc. |
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alcnossen Member |
posted 12-22-2008 07:42 PM
Shermstick, I think you are around the wrong people. Somehow, try to find people to support you and encourage you. Do not feel degraded or embarrassed. Instead you should feel proud that you are standing behind your convictions (assumed) and keeping your baby. Believe it or not, a lot of people will respect you for not having an abortion. As for your family siding with your ex...I had this same problem once before. The best advice I can give you there is to cut off contact with him, and eventually your family will come around because they love you. ------------------ |
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tinateach Member |
posted 01-05-2009 10:38 PM
It's tough being single but determination and love of your child will see you through it. |
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