posted 05-02-2008 08:31 PM            

Yesterday was thursday, daddys visitation night. I aksed "daddy" to bring "our" daughter for her monthly shot at the doctors. He willingly did this. In the AM I sent him a text just reminding him about the appointment, to let him know I brought the shot there, and to inform him that I was not going to be home until 7pm

(just a little background - until recently, I allowed him to use the house for visits, and let him walk all over me when he said he was dropping them off at 6:30 instead of 7:00

At 4:00 I sent another reminder that her appt was at 4:30 (YES! he needs these reminders). He sent a text back saying he was at the doctor now, and he would drop them off at 6:30

My reply: I will not be home until 7:00
His reply: He will be there at 6:30
My reply: I will not be home till 7:00 if he had to drop them off early he needed to get a sitter
His reply: He was going to call day care and bring them back to daycare if I was not going to be home at 6:30.

I declined to respond at that point. He never said he had to be somewhere, he just does not know what to do with them, and since it was raining....but I cant be nice anymore, he has to learn....

Anyway

I got home just after 7, he brought them back at 7:15, I met them outside helped the girls with thier backpaks and lunch boxes, and brought them inside without saying anything. He went back to his truck as we were walking inside. I closed the front door and forgot about it. He drove away about 1 minute later. I was happy. I finally had a drop off with a little peace (so I thought). No harsh words, no sad words nothing.....

He texted me about 7:30 F (used the real word) you for getting me to the point I wanted to leave. I loved that house and family...(something else) I am just as pissed @ you.

My reply: I am sorry you are hurting
His reply: You are wicked
I dont respond
His text again: I will hate you forever

I am not quite sure what set him off, I assume he is mad cause I went out with friends and he did not get his way as he was used to.

The best I can explain is that he wanted me to be a stepford wife, and I was unhappy and began to shut myself off to him. Which made him unhappy and hence this horrible domino effect that exploded sometime later. He does not get to be mad at me. And if he is, why? cause I was not a "stepford wife" as I began to call myself.

posted 05-03-2008 10:02 AM            

I went to counseling after the divorce and the best thing that came out of it is that I CHOOSE how I am going to feel. I don't let my emotions control me, too much. I can't express enough to have a positive mental attitude, you can grow and move on with your life even if he is childish and controlling. I hope this makes sense but you can break free of him. Choose NOT to dwell!