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 MY BOYFRIEND OF ONE YEAR IS GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE
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| Author | Topic: MY BOYFRIEND OF ONE YEAR IS GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE |
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AZBLONDIE20 New Member |
posted 02-03-2008 12:23 PM
 
I MET A WONDERFUL MAN A YEAR AGO AND WE'VE BEEN DATING EVER SINCE. ABOUT 4 MONTHS AGO, I FOUND OUT HE WAS MARRIED AND HAS KIDS, AND NONE OF THIS WAS EVER MENTIONED TO ME OR MY FAMILY. SINCE THEN, HE HAS LEFT HIS WIFE, AND HAS TOLD ME HE'S IN LOVE WITH ME. HIS WIFE FILED FOR DIVORCE AND HE HAS SIGNED ALL OF THE PAPERWORK AND THEY ARE JUST WAITING FOR THE DIVORCE TO BE FINAL. HOWEVER, HE STILL PAYS HIS CHILD SUPPORT BUT ONLY SEES HIS KIDS ONCE A WEEK IF HE'S LUCKY BECAUSE HE LETS HER CALL THE SHOTS ON DAYS AND TIMES AND SHE NEVER SHOWS UP WHEN SHE'S SUPPOSED TO. HE NEVER SPENDS TIME WITH HIS CHILDREN ALONE WITHOUT HER THERE OR HER FAMILY. I HAVE OFFERED TO TAKE HIM TO GET HIS CHILDREN WITHOUT HER, AND HAVE BEEN THERE DURING THIS WHOLE ROLLERCOASTER, BUT HE ALWAYS GIVES IN TO WHAT SHE WANTS. HIS FAMILY KNOWS WE ARE STILL SEEING EACHOTHER, IN FACT I SPEND TIME WITH HIS FAMILY, BUT WHEN ITS TIME FOR HIM TO SEE HIS KIDS, HE ALWAYS RUSHES ME OUT BEFORE SHE SHOWS UP, I NEVER GET TO MEET HIS KIDS, ONLY SEE PICTURES, AND WHEN HE IS WITH ME ,SHE CALLS RANDOMLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY OR NIGHT JUST TO CHAT ABOUT NOTHING. IT'S LIKE , HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SAY NO TO HER, AND HE OBVIOUSLY STILL CARES ABOUT WHAT SHE THINKS OF US BRING TOGETHER. MY SISTER TALKS TO HIM ALL OF THE TIME ABOUT THE WAY I FEEL AND SHE'S THE MEDIATOR FOR US BECAUSE IT SEEMS TO GET THROUGH TO HIM THAT IT HURTS ME. I DO LOVE HIM ,AND I UNDERSTAND WHY HE WENT OUTSIDE OF HIS MARRIAGE, AND I'VE SUPPORTED EVER DECISION HE'S MADE SINCE HE LEFT HIS WIFE, BUT I DONT WANT TO BE HIDDEN FROM HIS KIDS ANYMORE, OR WHEN HIS WIFE COMES FOR HIS VISITS. SHE KNOWS WE ARE TOGETHER, WHAT DO I DO. I REALLY WANT THIS TO WORK OUT BETWEEN US, WE ARE SO GOOD TOGETHER, AND HE'S NOT LIKE ANY MAN I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. HE'S TRULY A GOOD MAN WHO NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO STAND UP FOR HIMSELF ALITTLE MORE. |
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shawn single dad |
posted 02-04-2008 01:50 PM
you know he lied to you for 8 months, why do you think he so great and you two should be together?! He is on the rebound and it is right for him to keep his kids out of your relationship for now. Give it time. And gives some serious thought to breaking away from this guy while he heals. If it is meant to be it will be, but this doesn't sound healthy right now. |
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kimber72 Member |
posted 02-04-2008 08:37 PM
I agree with Shawn. Initially you were the "other woman" in his life. Bad marriage or not, he should not have been with anyone. and you should have broken it off the minute you found out. His wife may be calling becuase she is hurting becuase he had an affair. He is probably hurting as well, and you are just going to need to let him heal, and if that means you take a step back, than so be it. There is a part of him that may feel guilty for doing what he did becuase of the way the whole outcome has affected his kids, and while the end result may be better for the kids - you have to get through it before that "better place" comes. Also remember this is an emotional roller coaster for him...not just you. My ex-began dating someone, and I found out about right away and told him to leave. We were both miserable when he went outside the marriage, but that does not excuse it, especially becuase I knew the woman I suspeced him of dating. and I did all those things out you said about your boyfriends wife out of jealousy (except for the keeping the kids away part). Now he is not happy with the girlfriend and has been coming around a lot and is trying to get me to take this house off the market and stay in it (he even offered to pay me to stay in it). My point of all that is that he never got over me becuase he did not let himself heal from the problems in our marriage, he just went out and found himself a warm body....he needs to get away from the girlfriend and heal - that is what your boyfriend needs to do...Honestly, it is really not about you right now. I am sorry if this sounds bitchy, but that is one thing that I think is SO unacceptable..... |
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jasond Member |
posted 02-17-2008 05:50 PM
It is hard to give advice in these type of situations... I mean first what I see is a man who cheated on his wife and kids, lied to you. Personally he doesn't sound that great but I am sure he has a lot of "rational" excuses for his actions. It sounds like he is at least guarding his childrens hearts, they are probably confused too and the last thing they really need to be exposed to is "the other woman", no offense. ------------------ |
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mags50 Member |
posted 11-29-2008 12:44 AM
Hate to be blunt but...once a cheater always a cheater. You deserve each other. |
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