posted 02-17-2008 05:56 PM            

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I feel your pain... it is hard sometimes but it does get better. The children must come first but adults do need time with other adults. Have you thought about joing a club or volunteering occasionally somewhere that provides adult interaction? For me it is hard to find a good date so that is what I do every now and then. Plus dating can be stressful sometimes.

However, I hope to meet the right woman one of these days.

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Christian Single Dad

posted 03-25-2008 08:39 PM         

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Yes, I understand where you are coming from. I haven't even considered dating yet, but my divorce is much more recent. I worry about what type of influence the men would have on my precious little ones. It is hard to trust others. Plus, I just need time to heal. Is there really a "happily ever after?" I am not sure. I guess with God all things are possible.

God Bless

posted 04-20-2008 10:00 AM            

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That healing time is so important. I think a lot of people jump into dating much too soon and just add the stress of premature dating to the stresses of dealing with a divorce, trying to deal with financial issues, and trying to adjust to life as a single parent. It's too much to pile on. Something's got to give! That is just too much for anyone to take on at once, but people do it all the time.

The price? The kids are just lost in all the chaos and the effects on them can be long-term. Circling back to the beginning of your post-- yes, your world does revolve around your child, just as it should. It our most important job--one given to us by God.

Interaction with other adults is so important and having others who understand what it's like being a single parent can sometimes make or break your sanity. I hope you're reaching more for that kind of support right now, instead of pursing a romantic relationship. There'll be time for that, after you've healed from your divorce. Take your time

posted 11-29-2008 12:23 AM         

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Yes...It has for me. Much, much better in fact. I've raised my UT bound daughter for 17 years and have been very happy. Life sure has sucked at times but we always make it through. I, like you, chose to quit dating well over a decade ago. I wanted our lives to be stable and, for me, that didn't include men. As a counselor, the main mistake that I've seen parents make is the "revolving door boyfriend syndrom. It's not good for kids to get attached and subsequently left when things don't work out. Now that I'm 50, I sometimes wish that I hadn't stopped dating as now the market's not all that great. But, I'm still happy with my choices as they were the the right things to do.

When I went to my 30th reunion, one of the questions asked was did our lives look the way that we'd expected them to. I said no....much, much better as I'd raised a wonderful daughter and learned to be happy by myself and of myself. I wasn't a confident person back then but I sure am now.

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