posted 10-21-2007 10:30 AM            

I've been separated for two years now and soon to be divorced. I am 37 years old. I have two boys ages 3 and 6. Their dad and I have remained on good terms and continue to do special outings with the boys. Although we cannot live together we have a good relationship and two happy kids. We went on an outing yesterday and I made a quick call to the man I am dating (5 months and he already wants to marry me) to let him know we would be back a little late as we had plans to meet. When my ex approached I told him I had to go as I did not want to be on the phone with him with my ex and two boys there. I felt that to be inappropriate. I would not want my ex to be talking on the phone with his girlfriend. Nor do I feel the man I am dating should meet my ex and be at our home when the boys dad comes over to pick them up. If I should ever marry again that is a different story, but after dating for only 5 months and still very hurt over my divorce and other poor judgements in relationships I have had over the past year I think this is reseasonble. My guess is that I am best walking away and dating casually until my boys are older and I am ready to settle down so I can continue doing what I am doing and not have to worry about pleasing a boyfriend. I do not want to hurt this man, but I feel very stongly about my actions. I understand his side as well feeling pushed aside and 'hidden'. He is truly a wonderful man. I fear I may never get lucky enough to find a guy like this again, but my heart is just not ready to commit to what he wants even though he says he will wait. My kids come first. Does anyone out there agree with me? HELP! I could really use some advise. Thank you!