posted 10-04-2007 09:38 AM            

I'm 38 and I've been a sole mum for over 6 years now and as I'm sure everyone else relates, it's been a roller coaster of a ride. I am blessed to have 3 inspiring and funloving boys who are 10, 15 and 18.

I've had two serious relationships since my marriage ended and close to 3 years ago I decided to stay single because it was just too stressful.

I'm now starting to feel as though I would like to have a man in my life in the near future. However, I think I would be the worlds worst girlfriend! I've become less tolerant and more independant, I've become so used to being the decision maker, the stresser, the provider, and everything else that comes with being a single parent. I'm so used to doing it on my own and sometimes I find it hard to let people in, even when sometimes it's what I want.

I think that if I let a man into my life, I'd probably end up pushing him out because I'm really not sure I know how to be in a relationship anymore and to be honest, the thought of being in a relationship with a loyal, honest man, scares me, for the simple fact that my thought process is "what if he's just like the others", the heart is seducable via the mind. On saying that though, I'm a big believer in starting new relationships with embracing arms and forgetting your past, sometimes it's just easier said than done.

Through my marriage and past relationships I've learnt that I deserve to be treated and loved better than I ever was. I've learnt what is it that I want, but being I've never really had that (long story) I think it would take a very patient man to be with me. (I already feel sorry for whoever he may be..*sheepish smile*)

posted 10-05-2007 03:03 PM            

I tend to date in spurts. I date and then get my fill of the game and do other stuff like concentrate on school or any number of activites. Just remember that dating doesn't mean marriage! I often tell others here to slow the heck down when they are talking about moving themselves and their children into a full time relationship. Because it is not just us who are experienceing the fun AND pain that go along with trying to find love.

If you want love (who doesn't?!) then go for it and date, but be picky about who you let into your children's lives. I am like you in that I have been single for so long that I am not sure at this point if there is anyone out there who could put up with my idiosyncracies, and I don't know if I can be patient enough with someone else's. But I still hope and occasionally date, and find peace in the fact that you never know what today or tomorrow might bring! Just love life and life will love you back!

posted 10-05-2007 08:49 PM            

Rebeckajane: This paragraph also accurately describes me so I am in the same boat as you are when it comes to dating or, more accurately, not dating.

Jasond: Those 30 something single women you are looking for are all at home with their kids or having coffee at their friend's house who is also a single mom.

posted 10-05-2007 09:34 PM            

jasond : Where are all the single dads if they are not in bars? Like jwg said, the single woman are at home with their kids or at their single mum friends houses. On the odd night that I have to myself I spend some time at the ocean as the sun is setting and then I'm usually sitting at home enjoying peace, music and some hazelnut chocolate, and probably secretly wishing that mrperfectforme would come crashing through my wall ;o)

posted 10-10-2007 06:18 PM            

Maybe one of these days the perfect woman will come knocking on my door.