posted 09-25-2007 09:54 PM            

I hated waiting for the divorce I was so angry at my wife for filing it made me sick to look at her. I never thought that it would end like that. I know after it was finalized I was able to "get on with my life." In reality I was already getting on with my life as I am sure you are. I even replaced the furniture, rearranged the house made things different.

Why is it that people seem to be different when we are no longer with them? I mean my ex is still selfish and immature and I realized that she drank alot and actually cheated on me while we were supposed to be getting counseling and trying to save the marriage. I never ever imagined that she would so such a thing... Sorry I am venting!

You appear to know what is up. What your soon to be ex and his new girlfriend have is going to be short lived don't turn it around and wonder why he wasn't that way with you. There is no benefit in it. Remember that you are the one that wanted the family unit and relationship. He is only playing right now, would be my guess.

Hope this helps a little, I know from my experience that sometimes nothing could chear me up.

Remember God loves you and has a plan for you.

I do have a piece of advice that took me awhile to fully learn and understand. I will share it with you and I hope it helps:

For so long I looked at things from the outside in wondering WHY? I would get depressed, angry, sad and I would feel sorry for myself. I finally came to the realization that I can CHOOSE to feel the way I want to feel by controlling what I thought about (most of the time). Once I really began to practice this and pay attention to my thoughts I was able to really turn around my moods. So when you start thinking why he is doing what he is doing with her and not you or anything else, make a consious effort to change the thoughts to something good. Even if it is just the sun beating down on your face or the cool breeze blowing through Jersey.

Sometimes I would have to do this minute after minute when I kept going back to that cheating B#@!@. Those thoughts were not productive and they kept me from God and being the person I wanted. I know I have rambled on and wrote a novel. I guess in short don't waste your time and energy thinking about what could of been or what should of been. Instead think of something that your little girls do that make you smile and bust up laughing. I am sure you have dozens of memories that can do that and trust me you will be much happier.