 UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! |
 Single Parents Online Chat Boards
 Relationships+&+Dating
 do women date single fathers?
|
| next newest topic | next oldest topic |
| Author | Topic: do women date single fathers? |
|
dadchad Member |
posted 09-18-2007 04:38 PM
  
I have been on my own with2 boy for 3yrs and I am having a really hard time getting a date. Any ideas? |
|
KrissiJo Member |
posted 09-18-2007 07:52 PM
I have to say, I prefer single dads. They understand more about parenting-the pros and the cons, ups and downs...and I think it's incredibly sexy for a man to raise his children, do the laundry, dishes...That's a real man to me. You're woman will come along when you least expect her. Kristin [This message has been edited by KrissiJo (edited 09-18-2007).] |
|
kimber72 Member |
posted 09-18-2007 08:35 PM
I agree with Kirsten. I did date someone for a few months who had a 4 year old son, I chose to end it because the guy was wanted to get married again, and I am only thinking about getting through my divorce in one peice. But it was nice to have someone who understood the whole having to find babysitters, and being tied to the house. If you have your sons full time that is even better, because you REALLY understand. The guy I dated could not grasp the concept of why, on the kid free weekends, I ALSO wanted to spend time with my friends. This was becuase he did not have his son during the week and saw his friends during the week, and could "SAVE" (as he put it) the kid free weekends only for us. I always wonder if I will meet my "match" at the park or something. Sometimes single moms like me, don't know who the single dads in the park are, but I am sure we are all there! |
|
dadchad Member |
posted 09-19-2007 08:04 AM
thanks ladies. I will just stick to raising my boys and praying for the best. |
|
jasond Member |
posted 09-19-2007 08:55 PM
The question caught my eye and I was pleasantly surprised by the responses but if you don't mind may I add to the question? When woman see a father with their child do they assume he is married and move on more quickly or do woman take the time to at least check to see if he is wearing a ring? I too struggle with finding a date... My daughter means everything to me and I don't like to go places without her, I don't go to the bars so I am really finding it difficult to meet women. ------------------ |
|
dadchad Member |
posted 09-20-2007 08:08 AM
Jason, Thanks for the response. Finally I find a single father to relate to. I like your blog. That is a great way to grow. I would like to mail you some time. Maybe we can get some insight from each other. Chad187s@yahoo.com |
|
jasond Member |
posted 09-20-2007 06:23 PM
It is hard to find support if you are a single man trying to raise a kid. It seems that women tend to find support much easier. I don't know... Maybe it is just me or maybe times are changing where the fathers that deserve to get custody of the child are able to yet the support is not there yet. Feel free to email me, I have your email address and I will try to shoot you off an email as well. jason.deines@gmail.com. Thanks for visiting the blog... It sure does help to post thoughts and feelings instead of hold them in. I assume there has to be others out there that are going through similar situations as I. ------------------ |
|
KrissiJo Member |
posted 09-20-2007 07:31 PM
I do check to see if the man is wearing a ring!! But some men don't wear them so I wouldn't necessarily approach a man just because he's not wearing one. Send the ladies a smile to catch their attention  |
|
jasond Member |
posted 09-20-2007 10:17 PM
I got ya, I have read that smiling is good! I am scared!!! :-) ------------------ |
|
dadchad Member |
posted 09-21-2007 08:12 AM
It has almost been 3 yrs since I left with my both. We came home with nothing. Well we had a change of clothes but we gave up everything we had other than that. But I truly learned something that first year.. I found the Lord and that changed my life forever. By the end of the first year we had a home all the things that go with it. I am still praying for that person that is willing to take on a father and 2 boys. I know the Lord has here placed at a special time ..... I wish he would speed it up sometimes. Thanks for all of your kind thoughts.. |
|
epauley Member |
posted 09-22-2007 03:30 AM
I can relate to both of you men on one thing and that is that it is hard to meet someone if you are not interested in meeting them at a bar. I too have been single with two boys and dateless for four years now. I do not understand why and at times I get very frustrated about it, but I just have to believe that there is someone out there for me. I do not know where or when I may meet him, but I do know it will happen at some time. My problem is that I am a very impatient person. I can tell you from my personal viewpoint that when I see a man that I find attractive, it does not matter where he is, the first thing I look for is a ring. If he doesn't have one, I do not automatically assume that he is single, but I do keep my options open. If I find him attractive enough and the situation is right, I may approach him with my number and if he chooses to use it great. However, my usual way of doing things is to try to make eye contact with him and if I can, I will try to hold it and hope that in doing so-he gets the hint that I am interested. Sometimes, I think for those of us who have not dated in a while, we THINK we have our eyes peeled for any possibilities, but I am not entirely sure that we always do. I think being out of operation for so long really plays havoc on your dating game and in some ways being able to decipher who may be interested from who is just looking at you because you are in the same space as them |
|
epauley Member |
posted 09-22-2007 03:35 AM
Oops! I was going to give you a bit of advice, since that was your original question-forgot. Okay, here it is (and personally, I need to follow it myself), I would tell you that if you see someone you are interested in (even slilghtly), ask her out. The reason being two-fold: 1) just to get a date and use it as a springboard for future dates is a great opportunity (especially if the dates have been few and far between for an extended period of time), and 2) just because you look at her and do not see wife or girlfriend material right away, the initial interest/attraction (however slight)addes to her possibly amazing or humorous personality may be enough to strike a spark that you never thought was possible when you are out on a date with her. |
|
jasond Member |
posted 09-22-2007 10:20 PM
I guess I have always been under the impression that women have not problem finding dates. It is good to know they struggle too. Not happy HAHA good but okay reality check good. I have tried to do the smiling thing and usually I try to be really friendly but the women who cut my hair or check me in are usually so young. It is nailing down the 30 something women that seems to be illuding me. I try the grocery store but I never know if her husband will be coming around the corner while making googly eyes at her. I just have to remind myself that I have had girlfriends and yes even a wife before. At some point women did find me desirable they will again I just have to be patient, which I lack as well. ------------------ |
|
kimber72 Member |
posted 09-22-2007 10:26 PM
I always look for a ring myself, but like the other ladies say not all men wear rings. I sometimes wonder if the men are looking at my hands to see if I am wearing a ring. What is the worst that is really going to happen you ask a girl out at the park? Maybe she will tell you she is attached, or maybe she will say yes. Perhaps approaching her with the fact that you say "hi, I am single dad and I wanted to get some advice from you..." and make it something stupid like, how do you get your kid to swing by themselves or something. This is not like we are in highschool anymore, no one is going to laugh at you, and you dont need to ask someone out just to have a date for the prom. Although sometimes now, it feels like it again. |
|
rebeckajane Member |
posted 10-04-2007 09:56 AM
Not that I am an expert on this, (being I have not dated in some time) but I still notice men, I still have the odd flirt with men and I still admire men. If I see a man with children I will think along the lines that they are probably married or taken but I also wonder if they are single and raising their child/children or if this is their weekend to be spending with them. I would be open to dating a man who has children because he would relate to my experience, he would be patient, understanding and probably in just as much need of adult companionship as I am. I only know a couple of single fathers and I find them very attractive, they are gentle, kind, caring, have a great sense of humour and watching them with their children makes me smile. Some time ago I asked a group of men if they would date a single mother, most said they wouldn't because she wouldn't have much time, it's too much responsibility and they would question the fact that she may become financially dependant on him (for the record guys, I think you would find most single mums just want to be sure in knowing you can support yourself, so she doesn't have to support yet another person, financially). Ok, I'm done rambling, yes I would and yes they do. =) |
|
kimber72 Member |
posted 10-04-2007 05:32 PM
Rebeckajane - it is funny you should bring up the fact that most single moms also don't want the burden of having to support yet another person. I recently found myself in that situation. When I evaluated the relationship I was in (dating not marriage), and I looked at it from the aspect of the future, I could see myself having to support this guy, I felt like I alreay supporting him in a sense becuase he would spend every weekend at my house (with and without the kids), I was buying food for him and his son, using my car (and doing all the driving - (gas money)) every where we went, paying my own way for a lot of things or paying everyones way when we did stuff ALL together. Not once did he offer gas money, food money, or to treat ALL the kids to ice cream (it was always me). I really did not think about this until after I decided to break up with him (I broke up with him for other reasons), but you are right. I think it goes both ways. Both single dads and moms want to know their partner will contribute just as much financially to the relationship - or at least not mooch off of them. |
|
Jeninsc Member |
posted 11-04-2007 08:47 PM
I personally prefer the idea of a single father. They are just few and far between (for me at least). Don't fret men, there are a lot of us out there looking for someone like you. |
|
kaila Member |
posted 11-06-2007 12:38 PM
What everybody else said. :-D There's nothing sexier (to me) than a responsible, loving father. And who better to understand the perils and pitfalls of single parenting than another single parent? At this stage of my life, I don't think I'd ever go back to dating men who *don't* have children, if for no other reason than the lack of common ground. After all, a guy without kids is not likely to appreciate the intricacies of Spongebob Squarepants, y'know? |
|
cmcharlotte New Member |
posted 11-08-2007 12:43 PM
I really love dating single Fathers, but I have a problem with the fact that because they do not see their kids all the time, they often become manipulated by the children or have these expectations from a single mother that I just don't have. I love my children above everything and I do everything for my children, but I don't go overboard and I discipline my children verbally and do not allow them to be rude. I seem to notice Dad's often do not do this, because they do not always have their children 24/7 and they will put the children above my children often. For instance, I have had several experiences that a single father will expect me to go to their son's or daughters sports games, but will not do the same or will pout if I choose to do something with my children instead. Another thing, adult time. That is so important to me. Often single fathers who have their children 24/7 will not take some time away for adult time. I am a Mom, but above all I am also a woman and human and need some quality time with my partner and enjoy something other then my children, because I have them 24/7 with no father in sight or family to care for them. It's only me and sometimes I just need that break. Guys sometimes just don't get it. But, to answer, I would LOVE to have a single dad that just can balance it all. |
|
BHstump1234 Member |
posted 11-19-2007 08:12 AM
Hmmmm.. I'm not having problems finding dates.. Just finding women that find it compfortable to be with a single dad.. I've been out of the dating game for bout 17 years.. People still play head games.. I thought at 41 years old, the head games would be a thing of the past. NOT TRUE.. lol I'm not saying just women are playing them anyway.. Its the men too.. I'm getting frustrated.. Most of the women I have dated see me as wanting something much more than what they want to give.. Marriage.. HELL NO, I don't wanna get married, BUT I really think they see me as a single dad and wanting to get married again, even if I am up front with them about that. Face it guys, its hard for single women to settle into relationships with single fathers. When for every good guy/single father, there is a good looking player, they seem to gravitate towards the player.. I hate to say it, because its NOT me... BUT, treat the woman you are dating a little cold and distant, I'll bet you get more out of them.. It sucks, but its true.. No matter who disagrees with this, it is true... |
|
kimber72 Member |
posted 11-19-2007 08:08 PM
I would agree with you to some extent BH, however, not all women are like that. Some men seem to be smoothering, while the ones who are cold and distant give the woman the opportunity to be herself. For example, i dated this "nice" guy for a few months, not someone I would marry, (even though he told me he wanted to get married again), but a nice guy, as we became more serious, he became smothering, where he was getting upset that I wanted to go out with my girlfriend on a few of the saturday nights I did not have my kids (not friday because my girlfriend works fri nights). Anyway, despite a few other things, that was really the icing on the cake for me. There has got to be a happy medium, but it will take time and effort to find it. Just like making a marriage work, you need to make a relationship work. Let her be her and let him be him. If a man comes off as too nice, it can be viewed as too pushy, My brother is like this, a nice good-looking guy any woman would be lucky to have him, but when he tells me these stories I just have to shake my head. I see it as him being nice, becuase I know my brother, but I can see how some women would want to run away from it as they might see it as too pushy. |
All times are CT | next newest topic | next oldest topic |
  |
|
© 2000-2009 Single Parents Online Network
Powered by: Ultimate Bulletin Board, Version 5.44a
Resources of Shared Experiences by Single Parents for Single Parents
© Infopop Corporation (formerly Madrona Park, Inc.), 1998 - 2000.
