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 to date or not to date?
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| Author | Topic: to date or not to date? |
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jrdmum Member |
posted 08-16-2007 12:00 AM
  
ok, its been 8 months since my split, my daughter is 5 months and my son is nearly 5. Their father nowhere to be seen for the moment. (ran off with someother) Anyway, have had my first couple of dating experiences in about 10 years!!! has been scary but fun also. My problem is, can I be bothered? I thought I was ready to meet other men, not purely looking for an intimate relationship even just new male friends would be nice. (never introducing them to my children, not yet anyway) I have met some really nice men, quite worthy of starting something permanent but I seem to sabotage them, picking the tiniest fault with them, I also seem to cherish my new routine with just me and the kids. So in the end I don't want to upset that so again I tend to be making up things to get of dates as I cannot be bothered. So, am I not ready? Do I wait until my children are much older and cannot stand my own company for 1 more minute? I'm not talking about a lot of men either, only 3, all very nice, maybe not the right ones? I do refuse to settle for anything less than what i want also, but is the perfect man out there? Do you sacrifice one quality for another? Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud. cheers. |
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leigh1517 Member |
posted 08-16-2007 10:13 AM
No perfect man is out there - nobody is perfect. I've learned that the best thing is that a man is responsible, honest and loving toward you. If you have those three characteristics you have a good man! |
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shawn single dad |
posted 08-17-2007 07:16 PM
ahem <-------  |
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kimber72 Member |
posted 08-17-2007 08:54 PM
I have found myself in the same boat. Found a really nice guy, who treats me great. But wanted more (not necessarily intimate) than I was ready to give him. I liked (and still do like) my freedom, my independence, my space. After dating him for awhile, we began to have play dates with all the kids publically, he was good to my kids, now we date more regularly, but it took 8 months of dating irregularly to get to this point. I still dont know what I want from him, but I have been honest with him in telling him that, and telling him what I want from myself right now. He could have easily given up on me, but he did not. I guess my point is that, no one is asking you to marry them or be thier girlfriend, so go out and date, enjoy yourslef, and if you find a good one - hang onto it and see where the road takes you. It is not easy to let go of that fear of being hurt again, and I am looking for warning signs now that I should have seen in the x - if you look you will find one, but that will just give you an excuse not to date. |
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jwg Member |
posted 08-17-2007 11:56 PM
Of course we all know Shawn is the exception to the rule when it comes to defining a perfect man. |
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