In a message dated 4/26/2000 1:41:13 PM, CK writes:
<< Shawn,
Let me ask you this. If its not too personal. Do you actually have a social life, ... ? >>
LOL when I read that! : )
This email from a single mom really triggered some thoughts. At first thought when I read
and laughed my initial response was "no, I guess I don't, ... shit I hate it
when that happens" (kinda laughing at the absurdity of the very thought and
how it pertains to my life). But I thought, "I can't write that." So I started
thinking about it more.
My kids' lives are my anchor. I am one in my family of four. We are a
family, a 35 year old and a 10, 9, and 7 year old. I accept that. I love that!
But being the only adult in a family of four can be so very hard. As a matter
of fact, it can really suck at times. But that trial will only make me
stronger. But the real fact of the matter is that my life and my children's lives
are intimately and forever intertwined, never to be untangled. And I do
accept that, and truly love that, because it is me! I am a dad!
So therefore it's safe to assume that I don't lead the life of a jet
settin', bachelor bad boy, (not often at least)., or for that matter I don't lead
the life of any non single parent. But I do try to have a life. I do have a
life. Calling it a "social life" still brings a smile to my face. But I think I
have some balance, I try to have some balance. I have my work life and my self business life. I
workout 5 - 6 days a week, so I have a workout life. I especially love to run and
ride my bike because it is just me and my shorts and my tennies, out and
about, feeling the sun, sweating, breathing hard, smiling at the girls. I have a
laundry life, oh wait, that's back to the single parent thing, my mind
got distracted as it so often does. (Maybe there is no hope and I am in
trouble, letting laundry thoughts bump out thoughts of women.) ... OK, back ... I
ALWAYS take a trip at least once a year for at least a week without the
kids. Seven years ago when I first became a single parent I was totally broke,
and the ex was in high form, so my parents took them and I drove my little
Honda 850 miles and camped on the beach for a week, which I did for a couple of
years while going to school. After graduating I chucked the camping on
the beach scene to a hotel/multiple bars on the beach scene. [A hot, hopping
place with a lot of sexy single people is South Beach (Miami Beach), very
fun.] This year I'm going to Jamaica, in about 6 weeks, yeah me!
But, yes there is always a catch, being a single dad and being me, I
don't have much of a dating life, and so I've only had one relationship
coincide with one of my sojourns. I have traveled extensively by myself well
before I had kids, so this is natural to me. But at the same time, when you see
the sky obliterated with stars on a dark beach, or see a dolphin swim by,
there is always that feeling of wanting to share that moment with someone
special. But hey, anything is possible if you've had enough margaritas!
In addition to my work, business, workout, and travel I have a few
hobbies such as gardening. Two weekends ago I planted a huge flower garden in the
front yard. ... But gardening is never without kids. At one point I had 7
kids helping (my 3, plus 4 neighbor kids). Even my workouts aren't without
kids. I live in a cul de sac with many kids so when I come running or
riding in after a workout they are trying to race me or stretch with me. I also
maintain, well, my yard does, a depository for neighborhood bikes or
footballs or jump ropes, or whatever. OK, so even my 'independent shawn'
life has kid seeping in at the pores
I do have a life, and it has been given to me by God, and I thank Him
everyday for it. But that is not to say that I don't often interject a
"oh, please Lord, give me a break, I'm dying here" and even a few "boo-hoo why
me".
I survive. We survive. All single parents and their kids survive. And we
all grow.
