by Shawn Malone
January 1, 2000
First Christmas
Seven years ago I experienced my first Christmas
as a single dad. At the time my kids were 4 years, 2 years, and 18 months
old. The divorce had been finalized a month prior, and the children's mother
had left us about 9 months before that. Going to school full time, and
with no child support, I was totally broke.
The holidays can bring so many emotions. Being
our first Christmas alone I was feeling lonely and frustrated, but also
trying my best to put on some Christmas cheer for the kids. I do love Christmas,
the lights, Christmas trees, Santa, Peace and Joy. It is such a wonderful
time for children, even the very youngest are dazzled and point to the
pretty lights.
But we had had a very tough year, and on Christmas
morning I couldn't help but feel sad and disappointed that I couldn't have
done more to help my family. But the kids were excited and we started to
open presents. After they had each opened the first of their 3 small presents
from santa my four year old son looked at me and asked where were the presents
for me. Since we were going to drive down to my parent's house later that
afternoon my mom hadn't sent us any, so no, I didn't have any presents
for me under the tree.
Well without hesitation my four year old son picks
up one of his two remaining presents and hands it to me with the most loving
look.
"Here Daddy, you can have mine."
My 2 1/2 year old daughter pops up with one of
her presents, and in the sweetest 2 year old vernacular, repeats what her
brother says.
Well, I almost lost it. I grabbed them both and
held them so tight.
They gave me their love for Christmas! (OK, I
am getting misty eyed remembering this.)
Their gesture, so simple and innocent, so full
of love, has been my guiding light ever since. I love them so much and
am proud to be their dad.
